Lucky Now

O.M.G.
Thank all the India Gods for Anna. After a riDICULOUS night on the train from Agra, we arrived in Lucknow to visit my friend from Seattle, Anna. But first- the train ride over here, was eh, interesting. Our train was set to leave at 1130pm and as the train pulls up- BAM- the power goes out. The train is whizzing past us careening to a halt, Julia and I are totally freaked out and are surrounded by Indian men, we clutch each other for comfort and wait for it to turn back on. But knowing Agra it could be a while. And all of the sudden, from either side these legless Indian guys come crawling towards us like a scene from a horror film. Dragging their legs and reaching up like those creepy unfortunate souls Ursula cursed in the little mermaid. Julia and I scream like Carrie Bradshaw and run towards the train and jump on the first carriage we can. Yup. That really just happened. Then we find our bunks and settle into sleeper and play a few games of gin. I decide to go to bed at about midnight or so and plug the ol ipod in and cuddle up to all my belongings. And a little while later I wake to hear the girls above us singing. Oh beautiful Indian songstresses. Yeah right. She sounds like a cat giving birth. Without painkillers. And at one point, I can't tell if I'm delirious or not but I'm pretty sure they are having some kind of sing off. Complete with musical accompaniment from their cell phones. And this shit show continues for the next five hours. We're given a teensy break between five and six am to sleep when the stupid whores finally disembark. Man. I must have some bad karma from my loudness in my youth, and I'm hoping that the train ride has wiped my slate clean with comeuppance.
So we arrive in Lucknow at 5:50am. Sleep deprived and unbelieving what went on during the trainride, Julia and I couldn't have been more overjoyed to see Annas smiling face at the station. She whisks us away speaking Hindi to the auto driver and soon we are in her clean girl pad. Complete with shampoo smells and comfy pillows.
After a gloriously clean shower in a gloriously clean bathroom, Anna makes us coffee and we chat over peanut butter and bread and yogurt. I am in HEAVEN.
Anna has Internet and a fridge and a couch and the comfiest bed I've slept on in ages. We spend the whole day relaxing. At one point she orders pizza and Julia and I find ourselves sitting on her bed, watching the Office and eating spicy vegetarina pizza from... Pizza hut? Am I in India? We also watched some arrested development and took a nap. Later that evening we went into Lucknow and ate dinner with some of their friends and it was a going away dinner for a friend of theirs who was heading back to Afganistan. And the cheeky man paid for the whole dinner! It is the Afgani way, he says. Well, it was delicious and that man has got some good eatin karma that is for sure.
That night I slept in an AIR conditioned room, on a bed, for like ten hours straight. Simply amazing.
And the next day awoke to more coffee and delicious breakfast-ness. Went around Lucknow to get train tickets and some other things and in the afternoon, Anna took us to a spa nearby her house and we got freaking pedicures! I felt so sorry for this guy you have no idea. When he asked the date of my last pedicure I just bowed my head in shame. UH. I've been traveling. You need every twenty days. Yeah yeah. And for an hour this guy pumped it out, breaking a sweat while scrubbing the Sadhana and street and train off of my feet. And yes, breaking the skin as well. HO AH. I got to sit in a massage chair and read a book and be totally relaxed. And now my toes are spring flower pink and I feel like a princess.
That night we ate delicious home cooked Indian food cooked by Annas housekeeper.
Then I took a shower, put on some jeans and a nice shirt, put on makeup for the first time in a LONG time, and we went clubbing? This club called Zero in Lucknow.
Wow. Right when you walk in, other than the bouncer with the bulletproof vest the first thing that caught my eye was a toddler on his dads shoulders with that wide open gaping cry face going on. And beautiful women in shinny diamond sparkly saris, and Indian beefcakes in tight shirts. We met up with some more of Annas friends and danced the night away. I decided I'm not going to drink while in India, and although the mocktails were tempting, we just boogied with the Aunties and the babies and the hilariousness of it all just cannot be conveyed. Funny but it wasn't my first dance party in India, (the Auroville dance party at the visitors center was primero) but I haven't been into a dance club in quite a while, but it was good fun and lots of shoulder shimmying and lightbulb screwing in moves along with the good ol standby finger pistols.
Sadly we have to leave today, onto Varanasi which cannot be missed, although Anna and Elizabeth and Athena got HELLA sick just coming from there, so I'll be quite cautious.
I feel rested and relieved and rejuvenated and I thank Anna and Elizabeth and Athena for opening up their home to me and giving me some much needed r and r.

Agra-vated

Holy Cow.
I've never felt soo not into a place in my ENTIRE life. I get that Agra is the home of the Taj Mahal and a product of all the tourists, blah blah blah. But I want out. In fact Julia and I tried EXTREMELY hard to get out yesterday(a day early) to no avail. For the first time ever I bought my train ticket right when I arrived, thinking two days in Agra would suffice. A friend from Seattle, Anna lives nearby in Lucknow and we planned to visit her after Agra. We'll get to crash at her pad and get the in on what it's like living in India. Good plan eh? Unfortunately two days equals three nights and three days when your train leaves at 1130 pm. And by noon yesterday we'd already exhausted our patience, seen the Taj Mahal and eaten tons of Tibetan bread. We'd been stalked by rickshaw drivers, followed by randoms, stared at like there's no tomorrow, my shop! my shop! yes! FUCK OFF DUDE! Julia and I were seriously running out of patience with this place and just itching to go. To get out!Our train didn't leave for another entire day. So we buzzed over to the train station hoping to get the ticket changed to Tuesday night instead of Wednesday night. And the ASShole at the counter brushed me off and just said it was all good. So we packed our bags and waited and waited until 1130 rolled around. We were ON the train. Granted we didn't have seats, and I KNEW our ticket was for the wrong day, and tried all my bullshitting and begging and PLEADING skills to get us a seat on that train. WE'll pay more! We'll sit anywhere! just please let us get the fuck out of this god forsaken town! No. train is completely full. And finally we just sat by the bathrooms near 2nd class a.c. and the train was practically moving when some douchebag mustachioed Indian railway rent a cop busted us and kicked us off the train. And there we sat. On a bench in the Agra train station, as our train rolled away without us. No Lucknow for us. At least not yesterday night. Defeated, we slumped out of the station, hopped regretfully into a rickshaw and went back to Taj Ganj aka hell. Our guesthouse was closed but luckily the Internet was open and I called Anna and told her that we would not be in Lucknow in the morning, because our Luck, Now, is out? haha. I just came up with that right now. Luck. Now.? Anyone? Beuler?
I almost cried but just didn't. So we missed the train. We'll go today, and that is the last we'll ever have to see of Agra. In the span of things this shit storm is not even close to the worst thing that has happened to me lately, and I just have to think of it as a fact of life. Julia and I were meant to spend another day in Agra.
So after a great long night's sleep. We woke and decided we're not leaving the guesthouse. We just will hang out all day and nap and read and eat some food, and not be bothered by Agra. We are stuck here. Let's make it a resting day. And it has actually been great. Some pineapple juice and iced tea and toast with strawberry jam and fruit salad for breakfast. Watched a really good movie and the nice 16 year old Indian restaurant manager was kind enough to keep us up to date on what was happening in the film. Which was kinda like Memento and Kill Bill and Bollywood's love child movie. And then had a nice little nap. The some curry and chapatti and a cola. Julia and I even got cooling head massages by the kid who works there, and Julia got her shit rocked by what looked like a semi painful shoulder massage, but I think it'll probably straighten her right out. So we have just been hanging out, talking to the boys and hearing about Bollywood stars and where they filmed scenes for Slumdog Millionaire around here, and how the scenes that they were in got cut, etc. And now, in the cool a.c. I realize that its all good. And I'm eagerly anticipating seeing a friendly face at the train station tomorrow morning, and moving on to a new place in India.

The Taj Majal

Traveling again. Sweaty, dirty, tired, hungry, thirsty. Excited, happy, thrilled, amazed, shocked, pissed off, annoyed, delighted. India is a shock to the senses. Staring, oh baby oh baby. Julia and I get stared at like nobody's business. Is it my shaved head? or my super pasty white skin? Is it the fact that I'm a woman? Is it my crazy sunglasses? Whatever it is, I've gotta get used to it because being pissed off at it does no good. After a few days in Delhi though I've gotten well used to something. Used to the impecable metro system they have and to the crappy streets, and the delicious chai everywhere. We got some henna, watched some bollywood, ate lots of Thali and explored around Welcome( not really that great) and went to the Red Fort. This massive expanse left over from the Munghal empire. So massive that a nap was in order. On the grounds. In the shade. Traveling aka walking really takes it out of me these days.Julia (not Juli.) and I took the train to Agra yesterday and today we went to see the Taj Majal. And this place is haggle central RICKSHAW! YES! COME SEE MY SHOP! but we found a nice little spot with tibetan breakfast bread and cold coffee and the best Thali I've had yet in India. Its called Lucky Cafe in Taj Ganj. Go there. have thali. ask no more questions.
The Taj Majal was nothing short of amazing. Blinding in its spleandor, exhausting in its heat and size of the grounds, we wandered all morning till we just couldn't wander anymore. I know its supposed to be a testament to love. The wife of the emperor died while birthing her 14th child (damn!) but I also read that it is a refrence to the fact that the emperor fancied himSELF and modeled it after heaven because he thought he was god, etc. I dont know what is up but I am so glad to have seen it. It was amazing to all the haters who said don't see it. But I will say, Agra is a shit show and I'll be glad to bounce outa here.
And again on my life and pondering it in India. Apparently bad things don't only come in threes, they come in any number until you've learned. My life was again checked yesterday upon the realization that my dear friend Mali died suddenly. Just a headache turned into brain damage and then she was gone. She is a mother of two beautiful young children and a wife and a sister and a daughter. She is such a huge part of my life. She babysat me frequently when I was growing up and when I grew old enough I babysat her children in return. She was one of the kindest, happiest, most selfless people I have every known and I'll never get to see her again. And again here I am in India so far removed from this life of mine and I wish I could be there to celebrate her life and to give some form of anything to her loved ones. I feel so helpless and I feel empty inside. I will regret not seeing her more and not doing all the things together that we could have and I'll never get any of that time back. If I've learned anything lately it is that life is short and sudden and rash. I'm so thankful for everyone in my life and even if I can't show everyone every day I do think of all the people in my life often throughout my journeys. Mali was with me at the Taj Majal today and I'll take her with me throughout India and to Sweden and Greece and wherever else my life takes me. I am so thankful for her influence in my life and for all the grace she has shown me. To everyone reading this, I love you and I am thankful for you. Mali, I love you. I miss you.

The Departed

I've neglected my dear blog and I do apologize. I've had a whirlwind few weeks and blogging is the last thing I've been inspired to do. First Sadhana. After six weeks living and volunteering and veganing it up I began to feel the travel itch once again. It just so happens that a few girls from Sadhana were heading up towards Delhi around the same time I felt like leaving so I decided to roll up with them on the train. A few turned into six of us western ladies smooshed in the middle of an Indian sleeper carriage. There were times when I felt so sad to be leaving Sadhana, times when I felt relieved, and times when i couldn't even think about anything at all. For the first time in seven months I felt like I had found a home. I lived there for six weeks. Longer than I'd spent anywhere during my travels since I'd left home. I met so many amazing people there and I know that I'll be back at Sadhana in the future. I laughed, I cried, I pooed( a lot) I danced and sung, I ate, I sweat ed a hell of a lot, I crashed, I puked, I swam, I rode, I slept, I cooked, I talked and I learned. And all things in between. Living in a community taught me many things about myself and my life and I know I'll keep on learning from my experiences at Sadhana for a long while to come. On a spiritual note, I've been feeling like the universe is trying to tell me something lately. My life in India has taken many turns, many happy and helpful, but many more tragic and humiliating and painful. And I keep asking myself why are all these things happening to me now, in close proximity to each other, and in India? Possibly to grow as a person in as difficult an environment as possible? To learn the value and glory of life? To slow down? To take chances, to not take chances? To try new things and throw myself out of my comfort level and into the traffic of India? I have been struggling with all these questions, and I hope through some meditation and some time spent at an ashram I will find some guidance from within.
After falling off the motorbike I fell into different patterns of thought. Thoughts of how short life is, and how quickly things can change and how fragile human beings are. I felt stupid for taking myself far away from all the people I love so dearly to selfishly explore on my own. I felt sad to be away from my family and friends and Sean when it was all i wanted. Luckily I was surrounded by loving friends and the first week after I managed quite well considering it would have been prime material to jump ship and fly home with. And after returning to Sadhana I wandered around like a lost soul not knowing where I fit in and where I could go from here. I knew when I felt ready I would know and the traveling would begin again. So I got back into the community and all that it entails, and one day I woke up and knew I was ready to move on. And i busted out the guidebook from the bottom of my backpack and excitedly began planning.
That afternoon I checked my email and found out that my mentor and friend from UW Printmaking program, Larry Sommers had passed away from a heart attack. I sat at the computer at Sadhana shocked and saddened and helpless. If I was in a daze before it was nothing compared to the sadness I felt at Larry's loss. He was there from the very first printmaking class I took at school. Always in his office ready for political discussions and xeroxing and printmaking talk. He helped me to become the artist and person I am today and I am forever indebted to him for all his guiding help and friendship. The loneliness and helplessness that comes with losing someone never gets any easier. And being in India, the closure thing doesn't really happen because I'm so far removed from that reality.
Shit my pants. Got in a motorbike accident. Lost a friend. Terrible things always come in threes right? Yeah I thought so too.
Leaving day at Sadhana was extremely difficult. It came sooner than any of us expected. And Josh and Tobin, two people I really love and am so grateful to have met at Sadhana had just returned two hours before we were all set to leave. But we hugged and waved and hopped in the taxi, and said goodbye to my Indian home.
And let the travelling begin. Five western ladies crusing in the back of an Indian bus filled with nothing but Indian men. Munchin on doughnuts and samosas and sugary drinks oh my goodbye to healthy vegan commune life. Traveling in India is crazy exhausting. Heat and staring and crazy sidewalks and interesting? smells and you never really know what is going on. However after a taxi and a bus and another bus and a bit of a walk we landed in our train compartment, met up with Ava, a lovely greek girl we had met in Auroville and began the 36 hour train journey from Chennai to Delhi.
All I did for that thirty something hours was sleep and eat and sweat and repeat. The sleeper was surprisingly comfortable and you sort of get used to dozing off and waking up to a dozen Indian men staring at you. The veg briyani and chai is ever flowing and you dont even have to leave your seat to indulge in ice cream and samosas and idli and eughhh tons o crap.
We pulled into Delhi bright and early at about 7 in the morning. And the city greeted me with eh, lets say about twenty guys pooing alongside the train tracks with their dongs hanging out. Hell-O INDIA! Jess led us around through Paraganj and into a guest house and we'd made it!
also i dont know why the first few pictures are so big, but it took so long to upload them that i'm leaving it!

Nothing Compares, NOTHING COMPARES, to you

In other news I shaved my head. I originally was going to grow my hair out for the year I was gone. Well. I got halfway there. Plus I've been wanting to shave my head for ages now and Jess was going to get hers re-buzzed. So I decided to do the do. And there it went. Curly brown locks onto the saloon floor across the street from Richy Rich. I suppose not the most flattering look at this moment( lets say, i need to eh, ease up on the Richy Rich). But I figured now or never dude and what better way to NOT get stared at in India than to be a total gringa with rosy cheeks and a shaved head? RIight. But I figure, they were going to stare anyways, might as well give them something to talk about. It was such an amazing feeling riding home and feeling the air on my head and not sweating a bunch while sleeping, and feeling the mosquito net against my head. I love it. And I'm definitely all face now. I feel amazing, still hot, but India is hot so what else is new. I like it so much I might keep shaving it for the rest of my travels just so i dont have to worry about shampoo and conditioner anymore. Ha. Eugh. But when I wear these eighties ray ban glasses with shimmery reflectors I get a bit of a Powder feel( you know that movie) so i might need some new shades. Anyways... that is all

A bump in the road

Life comes at you fast. One morning you're using a crow bar to dig holes for banana pits and doing headstands and the next morning you can't do either due to scraped up arms. Took a little spill on a motorbike and I've been holding up in a gorgeous garden surrounded guesthouse for the past few days. There's a lot of dirt at Sadhana and I didn't want any of that getting in my exposed skin. It's nice though, to get to relax and shower and read in the quiet afternoons. I'll head back to Sadhana soon though, I miss all the people there, just as soon as I'm sure everything is infection proof, things will start rolling again. Unfortunately due to the location of the injury I can't do my yoga headstands for a while, which i was getting so good at. But oh well, things could be worse. Life in Sadhana/India is going swell. I am constantly enjoying the company of the new people I am meeting and thinking about traveling plans for around India. Most likely I will start heading up the subcontinent in a few weeks and meet up with some friends and do some meditation and some yoga as well. And eat tons more hella good food. Anywho, think healing thoughts and I'll be back on the saddle in no time!