Rollin' with the Ganges

The road to Rishikesh was long and bumpy. I sat squished between the window and a woman in a hot pink sari for eh, about nine hours. I stared out at Indian guys with one hand on their hips and the other elbow resting on or draped around their boyfriend's shoulder, all while maintaining a piercing stare at everyone on the bus. Schoolboys lined up with arms locked, old women dragging kerosene tanks across the street, cows and monkeys and forests? Delicious street stand thali and ipod listening and the time flew by. Then switched buses for another hour and a half ride into the beautiful land of Rishikesh. A land flooded with religious pilgrims eager to ring bells and do puja and bathe/swim/dunk themselves in the Ganges. I found a lovely clean guesthouse for less for four days than I had to pay for one in Shimla. With a balcony I can hang my laundry on and crickets at night that hum and remind me of summers in Reno. I read two books in three days, I drank a boatload of Chai, and wandered around staring at the beautifully clad Indian women. I walked over to check out the ashram area where I will be doing my yoga course and then wandered down to the Ganges after that. The water here is nothing like in Varanasi. The river begins here so it is clear and cool and rushing rapidly past over rocks and across the massive banks that split the town of Rishikesh in two. I walked down a bathing ghat and put my feet in DAMN it was soo cold. And watched the people swimming and bathing and doing various ceremonial somethings I have no clue about. I was about to leave but saw a "Ladies Ghat" and so wandered over there and sat with these three elderly Indian women in bright red and pink saris. A mother and daughter were frolicking in the water and so I looked around and said why not? What am I waiting for? I'm in India. I'm going in the Ganges.
Fully dressed I removed my shoes and made my way down the cement steps of the ghat. Whoo! So cold it took my breath away but I inched down and down the steps and chatted with the mom/daughter duo. Then took the plunge and dunked myself in the holy water of the Ganges River. It felt amazingly refreshing and bone-chillingly cold but so awesome. I lay on my back floating in the river and smiling. The young girl was so cute. "Could I be having your email address?" "Pardon me but what is your nationality?" "Did you know that the Ganges River is a holy river and that when you bathe in it all your sins are purified and washed away?" This girl was full of information. And so cute and a hilarious swimmer I might add. The equivalent of doing jumping jacks but in water I think is a fair comparison. I hung out for a bit, did some more dunks and then waded to shore to dry off. The hot Indian sun was scorching and I totally got a ridiculous neck sunburn as I sat there watching the flow of women and children migrate to the ghats to dunk in the water. Skinny and Old women in puse green saris held onto long chains and slowly lowered themselves into the water for a good dunking. Aunties and Moms and Daughters all joined hands and dunked in unison laughing all the while. Little babies play with their feet in the water and bless themselves as they trickle water on their own heads to ease the heat of midday. I just sat and drew and smiled for hours. Little boys came up and asked my name and country and who was I drawing madam? Women held either side of long red scarves and let the wind dry what the river had made damp. Young beautiful girls in elaborate outfits and gold bracelets and earrings shyly descended into the water and did the ceremonious three dips. I sat there basking in my love for this country and for the beautiful women I encounter everyday and for my luck in stumbling upon the Ladies Ghat.
Eventually I had to go, hungry and hot I wandered back through town. Stopped to get a mango to eat along the way. Now I'm pretty used to being stared at but this one was hilarious. A big family was all sitting around eating ice cream by the side of the road and they all started staring and pointing and talking about me from a while away and then I heard one person shout "It's a mango! She's eating a mango!"
Why is this so interesting? I have no idea but it still made me laugh. Oh the spectacle of a gringa walking around India eating a mango.
I head back over today to begin my yoga course at Parmarth Niketan Ashram. So adios for a few weeks! Its Yoga, Its Yoga tiiimmee.

The Journey vs.The Destination

All aboard the Himalayan Queen! I was on my first Indian train all on my lonesome. (For like thirty seconds.) This sweet Indian family sitting next to me adopted me for the first leg of my journey from Delhi to Kalka. The mom spoke only Hindi but her teenage son translated. We chatted about all the usual stuff, where are you from? are you alone? are you married? etc. I stared out at the changing landscape and listened to music for a while. Then they fed me some breakfast, homemade parathas and some delicious okra/chili pepper concoction. And they invited me to go with them to visit their 14 day old nephew. Ohh how I love India. But i resisted. After five days in Delhi I was literally heading for the hills.
Shimla. The spot where all the Indian families head when the heat becomes too much. See in India people don't "summer" in warm places, they summer in the cool Himalayas. The two train journey began its second leg on the Toy train from Kalka to Shimla. This is like a Darjeeling Limited-style ordeal, goes totally slow and creeps up the hills to Shimla for about five hours. But it was totally worth it. I had an incredible time going up and up and up. And getting trivia from the Indian boy next to me on what everything was out the window. And watching the dad in the family across from me lean over his wife and son about every ten minutes to take the obligatory out the train window and scenery shot. The family was adorable and the boy gazed in amazement out the window the entire ride and him and his mamma counted all the tunnels we passed through. The fed me chips and thali and happiness all around -oh how I love trains! About three quarters of the way up it began to rain. And the cool, sweet smell of rain on dry land was intoxicating. I fell asleep in the long dark tunnels, I drank warm Chai and ate samosas and watched the monkeys in the forest as we trekked past. And Finally evening came and we arrived in Shimla.
Houses and Hotels are stacked upon the hills of Shimla and the place is like Dharmsala on crack there are so many people. I arrive in the rain and decide I don't have the energy to trek up to the Mall area where all the chill hotels are so I reluctantly overpay for this shit room near the bus station, buy a coupla mangoes and some noodles in a plastic bag and admit defeat. The night was spent reading and meditating and planning my escape. Which I did, morning came and I bolted.
What a workout. Up and up these winding streets and three hotels later I end up at my spot. So expensive but its high season and the Indian families have descended upon Shimla (and the cheaper spots. But for $us 20/night I have my own clean, quiet room and bathroom(sometimes with water) TV with tons of movie channels and balcony.
I wander all over the town during the next two days blissfully doing nothing. I read some books, ate some food, drank some tea, got stared at like no other. This being a mostly Indian tourist spot, I was pretty much the only western girl around. I a really good brownie one day, and even had nachos the next day. I went to the movies and saw this movie called Fashion. This crazy three hour long epic about a nice sweet girl from a small town who moves to Mumbai to be a model. And she doesn't drink or smoke or kiss boys. But after she starts getting into the fashion industry she starts drinking red wine, and smoking cigarettes and its all down hill from there. It was in Hindi but with enough English lines for me to get the gist and plus it was awesome to watch a movie about the Indian fashion world nonetheless. Ohh models.
Shimla was a nice, cool break from the hectic heat of Delhi. But too expensive to stay more than three days. Plus Rishikesh, the Ganges, and yoga awaits!

Pish/Posh

After projectile vomiting four times on my last day in Dharmsala I was off. On a speeding out of control bus down the snake-like roads circling the Himalayan mountains. I Vipassana-ed for the first two hours on not puking. MMM this is an interesting sensation. Let's see how long it lasts. Don't puke. Don't puke. You don't even have anything to puke IN. Eventually the sensation passed. Oh Anicca. And I inflated my trusty neck pillow, rocked some earplugs and woke up in Delhi.
OOOH Delhi. In the span of three weeks since I'd left Delhi had become hotter, stinkier, and lost all of its earlier exotic charm. I hopped a rickshaw and told it to take me to Jen's Hotel. It was pretty early. Like 8am. So I left my bag at her spot. The swanky Vikram Hotel. The concierge were nice enough to direct me to a hospital within walking distance. So I headed over there for my FOURTH visit to a doctor since being in India. That's more than like the last 10 years combined. Again I was given no actual diagnosis, but a prescription and felt better within a few days. I happened to have some extra Cipro so as a precaution decided to just take it all because last time the five day antibiotics didn't really cut it. And it has been over a week now and no diarrhea! Awesome.
So I hung out in the lobby and just awaited Jen- who came rollin into the hotel with her work travel posse a little later on. She smuggled me up to her hotel room and the next two days were spent oozing every drop of luxury out of that place. I slept in a cushy, soft, CLEAN bed, in AIR conditioning. I watched bollywood movies on dvd- including an awesome one called Maan, which is a bollywood version of An Affair to Remember. Rent it. Its glorious. But put aside a good chunk o time cause its like three hours long. I took a BATH, we ordered room service, we spent hours sitting in the restaurant downstairs eating breakfast and talking about our travels and everything that has happened since we last saw each other.
We wandered around Lodi Gardens, drank mango shakes on the street, battled the Rishshaw Mafia, wandered the streets searching for some needy person to give our leftovers to, ate NACHOS, went to the movies (and ate caramel popcorn and coke with ICE), shopped like mad women for earrings, rode the metro just for the a.c.(literally, to the end of the line and back). We watched LOADS of movies in our a.c. hotel room and ate pizza and snickers. We sat on the rooftop after the rain and watched the Pigeon Cowboys at work. We slipped and slided around in post rain Pajar Ganj pish filled streets. Pish is a term Jen uses, I think its a combo of Piss and Shit? Well this Pish is all over the streets in India, and in abundance in Delhi and after the rain one day I almost face planted in this disgusting stuff in an attempt to go to the post office. Where the guy working there totally did a NON-Accidental boob graze. Sick-o. So those of you getting post cards better be damn thankful.
We also had some really silly/hilarious moments."Noooooonnnnnooooooooo I don't want a rickshaaaaawwwwwwww" Or perhaps me getting SO into eating pringes that i didn't notice my bracelet got stuck in the can. And until Jen couldn't fit her hand in did I notice the lack of bracelet. Or Jen totally hitting a sign head on (literally right in the face) while heading to the train station. All in all we both hated Delhi and I for sure am sooo not needing any more time there. But it was so nice to hang out with Jen that honestly neither of us cared if we were traipsing around ancient Tombs and gardens, or laying in bed watching t.v. The time flew by and the next thing you know I'm off to catch a train and she's off to South Africa. But we will meet again. I'm already planning my South African World Cup Adventure for next year. So a shout out to my PTT/Seattle/Traveling hommie Jen- Love you Girl- See you soon!

Honey life in Dharmsala

This post Vipassana week has flow by with each day crammin in more than the next and me loving every minute of it. Leaving Vipassana and silence and nonstop meditation was quite a trip. But the world became profoundly beautiful in my eyes my smile beamed from ear to ear as I traipsed out into the real world. I have to admit I was a bit shell-shocked. Every sound, every sensation was a rainbow, an explosion of sound and light and happiness. I checked into a cozy little room overlooking a meadow, with a bed and a desk and a poster of Buddha,room enough to do some yoga, with a cute little family for eh, 2$ a night. I then put on my walking shoes and traipsed all over the place. From Bagsu to McLeod Gang my smile erupted on my face and every passer by was given love and compassion. Even the creepy leering dudes. But I didn't care. Then that moment, I realized. I'm alone. I'm walking wherever I want to do whatever I want. Everything I do from this point onward is in my control, every joy every anguish. I control it all. I exuded bliss from my every pore. The sun was shining, the air cool and calm, the trees smelled like heaven.
Interrupted from my own personal music video someone shouts my name and I'm pulled back into reality. Its Constance! This beautiful, joyous, cuter than your moms best apple pie French girl I lived with at Sadhana. I hug her and we excitedly chat about Vipassina, which she is intending on doing in a few days. Along with her boyfriend Silvan we wander the streets and Bam! There's Lucy, then Tony and Maddie show up, then Marcel comes out of the woodwork, the I see Nicholas! Its like a badass Sadhana reunion and we duck inside a Tibetan restaurant to compare notes on Vipassina and what classes and activites everyone has been up to in Dharmsala.
So needless to say that whole being all by my self lasted about five mintues. But that's what happens when you set out alone-the universe throws all your friends at you.
So since monday I've been meeting Rotem and Nicholas and Marcel at the German bakery for breakfast or dinner, sitting around chatting and eating and watching them practice juggling. I walk billions of stairs to and from my guesthouse and hills to McLeod Gang and to the Vipassana center. I go to the Tibetan Dali Lama approved clinic and get some good ol Tibetan Doctor to check me out. (I've had diharrhea for like eh, 3 weeks)I'm given some eating advice and some weird pellets that look like rabbit poo to ingest 3xdaily for 3 weekks. I have done yoga and gotten a total oiled up boobie grabbing ayurvedic massage. I've eaten spagetti and sushi and hot chocolate and tibetan bread. I sleep in my cozy bed with my warm tibetan shawl until way late (830) compared to 4am at Vipass. I meditate in the morning and in the evening for an hour each. Which is exceedingly hard outside the Vipassina center but I am giving it my all. I smile and smile and walk and eat slowly. I shop for beautiful earings and crazy Indian goddess stickers. I flashdance it up in my room to my ipod. I have taken cooking classes and read books and written in my journal. The days in Dharmsala are sucked dry like honey from a stick. Always ending the evening having dinner with friends at this cafe or that. Tony and Maddie are having a dinner party at their guesthouse tonight making momos and guacomole. I leave on monday to Delhi to be reunited with Jen who I haven't seen in almost two years. And although I will be sad to go and could probably stay in Dharmsala forever, I will not cling to it. I will live in the present, and right now I will get off the internet.

Sitting Still with the three Liz's

Vipassana meditation.
Yes we're still on it. After we actually began vipassan-ing
things really started to get interesting. Pain erupted from every pore
every kneecap, every back muscle,every inch of my dead asleep feet. I
began to panic and dread the moment when after sitting for about thirty
minutes, things would begin to ache. The goal is to observe each
sensation with equanimity and recognize that each sensation is
impermanent. And for one entire hour ignore the reaction of moving when
you sense pain, or clinging when you sense a pleasant sensation. The
pains we are feeling,Goenka says are built up from past Sankaras.
A Sankara, he tells us is a very strong reaction to a sensation. For
example, a line drawn in water disappears immediately, a line drawn in
sand disappears after time. But a deep rooted Sankara is like a line
etched in stone with a sharp rock. It takes quite a long
time to undo the damage of a reaction as severe as this. So things like
anger and hate and ill will and passion and craving.These can all turn
into deep rooted sankaras,
which in turn makes you miserable. And I have a shitload of these in my
past, therefore a shitload of pain? I just keep telling myself anicca anicca, impermanent, impermanent.But sometimes it really hurts. The possibilities
of examples for this in my life are endless. Someone bumps into you on
the street. You react with anger.Hey that person just bumped into me.
Then you stew over it for a while making yourself miserable with anger,
why did that person do this to me? Why did they have to bump into ME of
all people. They must be a horrible person who has no care about anyone
else, and so on and so forth. You put all your effort into hate and in
turn it is you who are making yourself feel bad. No one else controls
your reactions but you. You control your mind. You are your own master.
And if you generate hate and anger and craving and ill will you become
miserable. And constantly blaming outside forces for your own
reactions. Well that is just crazy isn't it.

There are so many more things about Vipassina
that appeal to me. Its scientific, non-sectarian, universal appeal.
Buddha used this technique to become Buddha. But it isn't aBuddhist meditation technique. Goenka
tells us that he has nothing against this religion or that religion.
However he says that when a person puts their faith in objects or
rituals or gods or priestsor chanting when something bad happens or
when they want something good to happen. Then regardless of the result,
all the credit is given to the object they placed at the altar, or the
rosary they repeated, or the clergy member who blessed them. Sometimes
people can expect religion to be magic and to replace thingsirreplaceable or to undo sankaras
that only you yourself can create or not create. And example he gave
from Buddha. A son came after his father had died begging Buddha to
bring his father to heaven. Buddha knew the reality but instead asked
the boy to bring him a big bucket of stones and a bucket of butter. And
the son is so grateful,oh Buddha is going to perform someceremony to purify my father. And Buddha tells the son to place both buckets in this pool of water. The stones sink to the bottom
and the butter floats to the top. Then Buddha tells the son to make the
stones rise to the top and the butter sink down to the bottom. But the
boy replies that stones are heavier than water and will always sink.
And butter is lighter than water and so will always float. That is just
the way it is.Ahh Buddha says, so if your father was a kind, compassionate, light person he will float. And if he was heavy with sankaras and ill will he will sink. That is just the way it is.

And
a billion more stories like that really helped me to grasp this
technique. And how to use the technique in my own personal life in
order to free myself from misery and begin to walk on a path of
liberation. No God or Gods, no rosaries, no chanting, no rituals to
perform three times at Buddha orJesus's feet. The strength comes from
within. To be your own master. To control your own mind. The technique
goes hand in hand with the philosophy. You are sitting there. You are
observing your sensations. Your leg has fallen asleep and this rock
hard leg has turned into a bundle of pain.If you think in your head.
Okay this is a sensation, lets see how long this lasts, you don't
generate moresankaras and are training your mind to not react like it
has your entire life. If you sit there and say this is pain,this is the
biggest pain I've ever felt in my entire life, I can never imagine any
pain worse than this pain, oh it hurts it hurts I must react to this
pain and get out of it. Because that is what you have done your entire
life. You react. And boy is this right about me. I react emotionally,
irrationally, angrily, clinging, craving, the works. I am a textbook
example of asankara ridden person. So obviously when Im sitting there and the past sanakaras
are arising and passing arising and passing. (Quite painfully I might
add) I just keep telling myself. Listen, this takes time. You've led a
long passionate, angry life and you have a lot of work ahead of you.


This technique has helped me realize many things I have been
contemplating since I've been traveling. First of all I have been very
aware of my anger and certain darker aspects of my personality. I would
find myself indescribably angry at Juli for this thing or that for like
six months straight. And it was all me. All my reactions to situations
and allchurning and burning in misery in my body. Thus me getting sick
all the time and stressing myself out. I am so set in my ways and I've
been reacting all my life. I lose something i clung to, I throw a
tantrum. Someone does something I don't like I hate them. Instead of
observing and using my mind I just blow up like fireworks and the
littlest thing. My leg is uncomfortable from sitting so long and I
almost cry from the pain. But the truth, the undeniable truth, is that
everything passes. When I was sitting there, looking back at all the
anger and hate and passion and pain in my life,none of it is still
here, and none of it lasted forever. I was so angry and trapped in
Australia and thought I would never be happy or free again. And did
that last forever? No. Did God save me? No. It was only me, after
months of misery who finally acted to take myself out of that misery.
When I am hungry. All I can imagine is eating french fries from IN'N'OUT.
That is the only food that can satisfy my hunger. Its all I can think
about. I think I'll never be satisfied again. I could die from this
hunger. Then I don't get the fries and I become miserable because I was
clinging to them to save me and then things didn't go my way.
I
am in pain, lots of flesh has been ripped from my arm and it throbs
with the sensation of blood. I think I'll never use my arm again, it
will never heal. This purple iodine is going to be on my wrist forever
like a purple seahorse. My life is over. Misery.
All these things passed. My anger passed, my hunger passed, my pain passed. Every thing passes. Everything is anicca. Impermanent.
So
I am going to continue with my practice. Because it is exactly what I
have needed my whole life to bring myself out of an endless cycle of
misery. I feel so happy these days because everything that makes me
happy is due to my own action. And I know that I am in control. And
while thesankaras are still coming up every morning and evening in meditation, I am trying my best to reduce the amount of new sankaras being generated.
Craving is a tough one, because boy does the Liz love a good meal and some good shopping and her hot boyfriend.
Anger, Ill Will, etc. Those are difficult as well but I am taking things day by day and ooing my best to observe myself and to be present in every moment and to be careful with every thing that I do.

So
yeah,and so much more but honestly I just can't write about it any
longer. I am so thankful to everything in my life that brought me to
this moment. To all the crazy coincidences that led me through all my
experiences in life, because without them I wouldn't be here in this
state. If it weren't for every irrational and passionate reaction I've
made my whole life to every situation. I wouldn't have experienced pain
and shame and love and anger and death all in one month in India. I
wouldn't have stumbled onto thisVipassana meditation which happens to
be in this beautiful crisp mountain environment. I wouldn't have
happened to be on Day eight of my silent meditation, following Buddhas
technique for liberation on the exact same day of the Full Moon under
which Gautama attained enlightenment, nirvana, and became Buddha.
And thats all I have to say about that.

Mad Person

Day one of Vipassina Meditation begins as the bell rings at dark and cool 4 am and excitedly I trudge up to the meditation hall and begin to try to meditate. Which is extremely difficult and I almost fall asleep and do that jerking awake motion about a million times. Somehow the hours pass until 630 and we are freed for breakfast. Goenka's voice is growing on me but my mind is crazy. Now being almost two weeks I can't really remember details very well but I will share some of the crazy things my mind went to in those first couple of days. We are told to have a calm and attentive mind and to focus solely on our breathing, in and out, nostrils, etc. HEllA boring after even like five minutes, so obviously I go a traipsing in my head. I cry about Mali, I think about memories together and her family and her birthday is coming up which makes me cry more that I can't be at home and celebrate her life with her friends and family and properly mourn. I think about past regrets and mistakes I have made. About stupid things said and harsh reactions to things. I think about fond memories of me and Sean doing the simplest but most joyful things like walking around the ave together. I go through my ENTIRE wardrobe at home and think about all the things I will wear when I return. I write the entire book about my year of travel. Story by story. Chapter by Chapter. I start to think of titles. Maybe it should be "Anywhere but Here" because I can never stay in the moment. Case in point.
I start having vivid fascinating fantasies about piles of fresh pineapple and watermelon and mango. My mouth starts to water. I think about sex WAAAAY too much. As my friend Lucy said. "I thought about sex more than I thought I think about sex". Haha. I go into a play by play schedule of the rest of my trip in India. I fantasize about being in Sweden and riding a bicycle around Stockholm, drinking tap water, wandering around the streets alone and not being stared at, etc. I plan the entire next year of my life. When I'm going home, what I'll be wearing, who will I hang out with for my birthday, what will I eat. I go through all the restaurants in Reno thinking about the best one to work at and what schedule I would like once I'm hired. I think about teaching and decide I want to do it and then start the application process for teaching programs(in my head) to a bunch of schools in southern California. I start planning my next traveling.
I AM FUCKING CRAZY
The days pass and I get restless and I start panicking on day two. I cant just sit here and focus on my breath for EIGHT MORE DAYS. I really start to freak out. The morning seems to pass quickly but the afternoons drag on with hour after hour of meditation and I am so weak and am starting to eat a little food but the past few days of nothing are catching up to me. Then at the evening discourse on day two Goenka tells us that days two and six are the hardest (he is soo right) and that Ana Purna is over tomorrow and we start actual Vipassina meditaion. Then the ENTIRE third day goes by and nothing new. And the discourse comes and nothing new. There is a long pause during Goenkas instructions and I start planning my escape from nostril and the area below the nostril and above the upper lip focus.
Then Goenka begins. Focus on the top of the head, and go through the body part by part, piece by piece. Observe the sensations and react with equanimity. FINALLY! Something new to do. I go to bed fast and hard and have crazy dreams because I am a crazy lunatic.

Ahhh Vipassana

Vipassana Meditation retreat in Dharmsala. What I have needed most in my life for so long and I am so lucky to have taken myself there. And it was a trek. Literally up a massive hill in altitude sweaty and full of amoebas in my tummy. But after a ridonculously horrific and painful knee throbbing busride I just wanted to move. I spent day zero weak and tired and hoping that my stomach would heal so I could meditate. Dharmsala is where the Dali Lama lives and many other Tibetans refugees. It feels like Tibet. It feels like a new world. The air is cool and the trees are piney and tall and the monkeys swing from them like its a branch grabbing relay. The himalayas surround the valley and villages perch atop winding cliffs and spread out into valleys scattered with Tibetan prayer flags. Its just what I've needed. Theres so much to write and so little energy I have now so I'll just do a little at a time.
Day Zero: May 1st I arrive and register, and hand over my money and passport and camera and books and writing materials. I am given a double room which I share with a lovely Canadian yoga teacher named Maryanne. I take a freezing shower and go to the mingling area. Tony and Lucy from Sadhana are there as well as Tony's friend Maddie. And we chat about the upcoming who knows what for a bit and then go our seperate ways. I take a massive nap and wake in time for the orientation talk and the first meditation.
Now I've never meditated in my entire life. First of all.
The rules are pretty simple. Follow the schedule. Maintain Noble Silence. Don't leave early.
The schedule for the next ten days is as follows:
4am wake up bell
430-630 morning meditation in the hall
630-800 Breakfast break
8-9 Group Meditation in hall
9-11 Meditate in the hall or residence as per teacher's instructions
11-12 Lunch
12-1 Rest/Meet with the teacher if you want
1-230 meditation in the hall or your room
230-330 Group meditation in the hall
330-5 meditate in the hall or your room as per teach's instructions
5-6 Tea break
6-7 Group meditation in the hall
7-830 Teachers discourse in hall
830-9 group meditation in the hall
9-930 question time with teacher in the hall (if you want)
930 retire to own room lights out.

After some milk tea and polenta which i struggle to eat and can immediately feel the amoebas dancing it out on we have the first meditation. We crowd into the calming and peaceful meditation hall and are given our seat assignment, a meditation cushion, and begin? I cant even remember what happened that night but when the hour was up you hear this auuuuugggggghhhhbbbbbbrrraaaaaaaaa like froglike weird noises which turn out to be the teacher Goenka singing. And he gives this long chant and I sat there like what the hell is going on this is SOOO not singing. This is like a groan you make when you ate too much. We are told to sit in silence and focus on our breath. Easier said than done as my mind starts going a million miles a minute.
We are shown a discourse and Goenkas poo bear face shows up and gives us a little more info.
Then off to bed and the silence begins.
Which I was totally cool with until I close the blinds and this massive TARANTULA is on the window next to where I'm sleeping. And I can't kill it. I motion to my roommate and we ridiculously and silently try to maneuver the beast out of our room. It was hillarious. But i just laughed to myself and totally crashed.

more later. i'm exhausted

http://www.dhamma.org/

Varanasi and Dysentery

Varanasi seems like a million years away but still worth a little blog action. Julia and I headed there after Lucknow and arrived in hot, sticky, stinky but still charming, old and compelling Varanasi. One of the oldest cities in the world and a site where if one dies you gain instant moksha or spiritual enlightenment. So there are tons of hella old people hanging around waiting to die. People carry the bodies of their deceased wrapped in gold and silver foil down to the burning ghats and ceremoniously burn the bodies near the Ganges. The Ganges; so sacred and purifying. And... full of crap. Garbage and dead bodies and all kinds of hella nasty shit that I'm not about to tip a steel boot into. Took a boatride in the evening one night and got to see some people bathing and doing rituals. Went to a puja one night which is this i don't know what ceremony the priests perform every night. Complete with incense and bells clanging and people nonstop taking pictures of me on their cell phones. Met some really nice people and spent an evening with the power out wandering through creepy darkened alley ways in Varanasi trying to find the guesthouse. It was intensely hot, but a great little city. Julia and I ran into like five Sadhanans and three of which were at our same guesthouse, so we got to chill on rooftops and eat overpriced slow ass food and chat in the evenings.
And then I get back to Delhi sick as a dog with stomach amoebas churning and whipping about my intestines. And so I went to the hospital in Delhi in case it was something because I knew I'd have to sit in Vipassana for ten days
and didn't want to be sick.
And that was an interesting experience.

Get to the hospital.Sit down at this table with a doctor. Tell him my symptoms. He writes a prescription. I get the prescription filled and some blood drawn. They sign the sheet and send me on my way. I don't even pay. They don't even ask my last name. And this is a nice ass hospital. The whole thing took about twenty minutes.
Oh India.
So i get back and check out the prescriptions and find out that what they've given me is for three possible ailments. Baccilic Dysentery, Amoebic Dysentery, or Giardia. I narrow it down to bacilic dysentery because of my symptoms and fever. Dysentery in Delhi. So much fun.
Then I took an overnight busride from hell to Dharmsala for some much needed silence and meditation and for hopefully the antibiotics to kick in.