Tubing in the Vang Viang

WHEW. That was NOT what i expected. Got into Vang Viang from Louang Pabang after a horrific bus ride, nothing too serious just a LOT of waiting and ass numbing, and blaring lao pop music which would even annoy the deaf I think. Wandered to find a guest house, found it, and plopped onto the strawberry shortcake rose frilly bed spread and crashed. This place even had pink toilet paper.

The next day Juli wasn't feeling so well but i was eager to explore so I left her in the couch watching the friends marathon at the restaurant in front of our guest house to go tubing. Rented a tube, hopped in a songathew with a few others and got dropped off outside of town and conveniently by Mojito Bar, where you are encouraged to drink for the children! As all profits go to the school round back where they grow the mint. Drink for the children? All righty! It was a little weird at first being alone but I figured at worst I would drink a mojito and lazily drift down this nice quiet river in Laos and maybe I'd meet some people, but if not oh well. And as I'm drinking the mojito(at about noon) I hear some music, and in the distance I see a type of dock and a huge tower with a zip line and tons of people partying and dancing and drinking and people flying off the zip line almost landing on people floating by in tubes. And theres another dock bar across the bay, and another one further down, ohhh, this is why tubing is so infamous.

So I downed the mojito, plopped in the tube and floated on. Hadn't gotten far before a bamboo stick was thrown out and reeled me in to Whisky Bar, where there are free Whisky Shots given out by some fierce old Lao lady who doesn't say anything she just hands you a shot and then walks away. I ran into a couple of people who were on the Slow Boat a couple of Aussies and an Austrian guy. Who we'll now refer to as my nemesis because after a BeerLao, and some whiskey he dared me to do the zip line. THIS is why they give you free whiskey.

The tower is the worst part. And the waiting. You're just standing there, rethinking your not so bright decision to swing off a zip line super fast into the water. I did meet a cool couple from England while waiting, Kate aka Kylie Minogue, and Luke who was a total Laura's boyfriend Jake doppelganger. And I also met the Australian doppelganger for Adrienne too btw. Anyways, Austrian is on one side and I'm on the other of the handle and we're pushed off and I'm screaming bloody murder but it's soo fun and I totally bail and crash into the water. MAN IT WAS SO FUN! And of course I felt like a total badass afterwards and maybe had more whiskey.

We floated onwards to another bar and another and they all kinda blend together. Drunkity drunk drunk aussies (It also happened to be Australia Day) and people trippin from their happy shakes and kinda bad injuries. I saw one Oz guy with a massive cut in his leg because he had a shotglass in his pocket and forgot and sat down? or something... his leg was red with all the blood. Kinda like in the movie Sabrina? But I saw him 2 days later and he was fine, limping, but he had his dry bag on so no doubt he was going back for round two. Oh those Australians.

I met another couple from Ireland, Eve and John and we went with Kate and Luke to another bar. Pulled our tubes in and hiked up to find an enormous MUD PIT. And people mud wrestling. Everyone is covered in stinking chocolaty mud. Eve grabbed my arm and pulled me in, (John had already done the same to her) and I was slipping and sliding all around in this horrible, yet totally awesome mud. Which was fun for a bit and then we gollumed out of there. They have a nice hose and fire in case you want to wash off and warm up. Which I totally did until some drunk guy totally shoved me right in the mud again. Asshole. But I saw him the next day and he looked SOOO hungover and thrashed and maybe tripping so I guess he got his comeuppance.

Luckily you have to get the tubes back by 6pm to get your deposit. It's like a last call. After a glorious shower in my swimsuit(trying to clean the mud off, to no avail) I met up with my new amigos for some more BeerLao and dinner. And proceeded to get a second wind via a whiskey coke bucket and dance music. And we all had a nice little night finished off with street food banana chocolate pancake.
WHEW.

Needless to say I'm so out of shape(drinking wise) That I had to spend the entire next day laying on the couch at the restaurant in front of our guest house, eating various meals and watching about eh, nine hours of Friends.