"MAYBBBEEE YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE THAT SAAAAVEEEES MEEE, CAUSE AFTER ALLLLL, YOU'RE MY WONDERWAAAAAL"
This song will now forever be known as the drunk slow boat song. Because all the drunk young aussie and british boys would sing this every day on the boat, at MAX volume.
Laos, let's see. First we had to go there and back because we forgot to check out of Thailand. They don't make this hard for you, there's one hidden dark window with departures written above it and one guy working there who could care less what you do or don't do at the border of Thailand. Luckily its a one minute long boat to Laos, you just hope you don't fall face first into the mud with your heavy ass backpack as you get on and off these boats. For 35$ American, or $1,500 Baht and one photo you can get a Laos visa, and a whole page of passport stamps! what what!
Then another thousand baht will buy you a two day longboat ride down the Mekong River from Houyxai, Laos to Pakbeng, where you will disembark in the near darkness on a muddy slope and watch millions of skinny Laos boys force their way onto the boat and try to grab your bag and carry it up this massive hill for some moolah.
First you have to listen to some hustlah try to get you to take the minibus and 'upgrade' so you can have a.c. and watch a movie and blah. And they demanded all everyone's(about 60 or so peeps)passports and they were just sitting on this table in an enormous table screaming identity theft! because they said they had to check the passports with the police to get the real tickets and we would all get them back in 15 minutes. 'Because you are my guest' the hustlah said, when i argued this ridiculousness, 'And every ones passports are here, not to worry. I know your passport is your life' Um, yeah right. If you knew that then you wouldn't ask me to blindly allow my life to be piled up on the table of some stranger. Just cause everyone has handed over their shit doesn't make this trustworthy. So i argued and argued and finally asked where they were going with them for the tickets and could i just accompany(holding my own passport) these guys where they were going, show the 'police' my passport and get my ticket. Huffily he threw his arms up and agreed and my mind was finally at ease, but WHEW! It was a workout! Thank god I've been practicing arguing my whole life. But all's good now and I won't always wonder if my passport was copied or scanned or whatevered in that mysterious fifteen minutes.
But during the ass numbing ride(even with a 2$ butt cushion!) you will float along lazily and eat weird Lao crackers and watch gray volcanic looking rock formations emerge from the water and dense jungle and water buffalo grazing about the beaches. At one stop a dozen skinny little Lao girls hop on the boat with laundry baskets filled with BeerLao and Cola and Pringles and Oreos for sale. And yes, I have to admit, the first thing I'm not proud of doing in Laos, I bought beer from a child. But it was a delicious beer and if I'm buying it, then it's one less for her to drink? No way around it guilty as charged.
Pakbeng is a hilly little village and with such intense Lao whiskey it'll put the memory of the long ride far from your mind. And the power in the whole town goes out at around midnight so if you aren't ready for bed by then, you just do it anyways cause it's dark. Early rise for day two of the boat ride. And we watched the Australian kids drink from about 10 am to about 5 pm. Vodka sprite. EUGGGHH. Thus the singing. But for some reason could just block it out and roll with. I must be building up a drunk obnoxious tolerance or something. Oh and if you have to use the toilet on the boat, don't worry cause by midday it's only filled about 3 inches high with mystery liquid, and the squat stance on a rocking longboat is a bit tricky to master... Some drunk chick announced that she toppled over into all the piss water at the end of day two. Well, could be worse? Actually, could it?
Louang Pabeng couldn't come any sooner and looking for the guidebook guesthouse that no longer exists proved frivolous. So we just went with the next cheap one. About 9$ a night for a double w/hot water and hbo? alrighty. Loud as hell and no natural light, but all i needed was a mattress anywho.
Now after a midday in Louang Pabeng I am quite enjoying Laos, finally. It's riverside french colonial feel is welcoming, the food is mad delicious( we splurged and went to a french bistro last night) and i had the best FLAN since Argentina. And crispy warm french baguettes. And the temples are magnificent. I traipsed sweatily up this massive hill for a panorama of the city today not to be disappointed, and the Buddhas for every day of the week lounged glowing gold among the foliage as I walked down.
We might move on tomorrow cause time is of the essence and I might have to hang out in Vientiane for a bit waiting for my Vietnam visa to go through.
Whew! pix aren't posting so I'll try that later. Love to all!
No comments:
Post a Comment