So Amanda is a pimp. Did I mention that? This girl has got carisma. And she speaks greek so needless to say she's popular with the Greek dudes. And the other day in the square a couple of young guys saw us drinking beers sitting under a statue of some Greek Orthodox priest and listening to our transistor and offered to buy us a round. Which we reluctantly allowed, usually we don't let weirdos buy us beers but whatevah. And they didn't finish their food so we took it home for the "cats" aka drunk snacks later. And they gave us a ride home and then left. And every day after that they have been calling Amanda like five times a day asking where she is, what she's doing. Blah Blah blah. And we were out this weekend having adventures and so ignored most of the calls. Sunday we came back home to Amaliada and bucket showered cause there was no water, sat around in towels and ate some bread and tea and jam and then got all dressed up to go to the little village of Krioneri for Panieri- the festival celebrating the Virgin Mary. Celebrating by roasting hella pigs on a spit and having crazy music and dancers and beer and peanuts galore.
So Landi aka snaggletooth called for the tenkabimillionth time and this time I answered and used what greek I know. Yes, no, and of course.
Ring ring.
Me- Ne (yes)
Snaggle- greek greek greek
Me- Ne Ne
Snaggle- greek greek Panieri tonight?
Me- OHI(NO!)
Snaggle-greek greek greek
Me- Endaxi (sure)
Snaggle-greek greekity greek greek
Me- Endaxi, Ciao
Then we get our shit and get ready to go. Snaggle calls again. I answer and say Ohi Ohi Ohi, Ne Ne Ne. And hang up. He calls AGAIN. We just answer, put it under the pillow and walk out the door.
Krioneri is just the next village over, in walking distance but we know there are tons of people going so we head down the driveway and out onto the road to hitch. We've walked for maybe three minutes and hear a car pull up and slow down, then stop at the driveway. OUR driveway. Music bumping.
Me- 'um, you guys- do you think that is crazy Landi?'
Them- 'ohi, nah, it can't be that is too FUCKING crazy.
Uh, i think they are playing boom boom clack. just like the other day on the ride home.
Nah.
um. i think we should hide.'
(all three run into the bushes and hide behind bean poles)
'Maybe its just the new wwoofers getting a ride home?'
Yeah that has to be it.
Yeah, it can't be them.
'Well let's run for it either way.'
(Cue running, screaming down the street)
Car revs up and starts down the street towards us.
Me- "THEY'RE COMING! THERE'S NO WHERE TO HIDE!!!, JUMP INTO THE BUSHES!!!"
(all three run and dive, except there are no bushes only rasin fields with a little white sheet that only shields me, and half of Amanda and Hanna is out in the open crouched in fetal position covering her head with her hands)
The car approaches, slows down, and stops directly in front of us.
We are all quietly screaming, crouched down on hands and knees in the dirt, wearing dresses.
Snaggle gets out of the car. Starts talking in greek to amanda.
Me and Hanna keep on hiding. Even though Hanna is in full sight, she's working the 'if i can't see them they can't see me' theory.
They talk a bit, Amanda makes up some shit about us waiting for the family and that we DON'T need a ride to Krioneria and blah and blah and Hanna and I still hide.
Finally they go and say they will see us there.
Yeah whatever psychos.
um. did we just jump and hide in the bushes from twenty year olds?
I think so.
We hitch to the festival, arrive before them, run past all the people to hide. but first get beers(we've got our priorities straight). But they find us anyways, hiding behind a van. So we escape AGAIN. Sit in full view and hang out with George's cousin and his friend Nic who sell us beers and give us beers. The Snaggle Stalker crew comes over TWICE more to try and hang out and finally get the hint to fuck off. We have a ball eating peanuts and tzaziki, dancing drunk, greek style in front of the whole village, and pouring beer on driver's licences.
At around 2am we leave. Amanda steals a handfull of peanuts and a loaf of bread, which we eat while bumping wu tang clan in Nic's car.
Also while heading to the beach to go clubbing that night Georges cousin pulls a two handed upper thigh touch whilst sitting between me and Hanna in the backseat.
"Hanna, don't you hate it when a Greek guy with intense eyebrows, also your farm bosses nephew touches your upper thigh?"
Ne.
Later Hanna and I determine that somehow my broken greek gave the stalkers the impression that they should come and pick us up... whoops.
Volume Two.
The new wwoofers made some Amaliadan friends as well who came onto the property monday morning and offered to take us all out dancing, to the beach, for coffee, whatever we wish. They said they were friends of Georges, blah blah blah. Hanna and I were a bit creeped out to see these dudes in the driveway midday but thought nothing of it.
The next night Hanna and I had a hilarious dinner hanging around with Field, a plastic toy I found on the beach and had borrowed a tv from jen to watch movies. So we're sitting there watching Hairspray and eating ceral and the other girls come into our room.
Ann Louise and Emmeline--"Um, did you guys see that weird green lazer pointer?"
Liz and Hanna--"Um, did you guys drink too much wine?"
"NO. seriously, look.."
We turn off the tv and look out to see a sniper style green lazer SCANNING the field in front of the strawbale house.
"BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
We all hit the floor, then peer up to see if its still there.
War movie style this green alien lazer is scanning the area looking for movement. WE are all crouched down FREAKING OUT.
I can just imagine these guys there at the end of the driveway shouting "FRAPPE! WE'LL BUY YOU FRAPPE'S. WE TAKE YOU DANCING! WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS!" While tying together nets to catch us all and busting out military lazers? I don't think so.
We grab knives, cell phones to call the cops, my head torch, and Ann Louise grabs a metal pot?(to bash heads in I suppose), and prepare to defend our honor.
I can't help but laugh a few times, especially when Hanna says "what is that light near your face Liz, OH. its just the reflection from the kitchen knife Emmeline is holding. Of course."
I scan the field with my torch, we think we see them drive off. I shout "IF YOU CAN HEAR THIS. FUCK OFF!."
After a while we figure they got bored and left. To cruise the park or something. The girls hang out for a bit clutching kitchen utensils and we try to watch a movie.
Just another night in Amaliada.
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