Since I am totally fine now, I think I'll post this. Warning: it's a bit graphic, but I am healed now so no need to worry.
Well. I fell off of a motorbike last week. Tony and I were on our way to a seitan workshop last friday and were crusing along on our scooter. Ahead in the road were an Indian couple and a herd of cows, and as we approached them one of their bulls with painted red and blue horns ran out in front of us in the middle of the road. And the Indian man that was walking him had just let go of the rope apparently. Tony was driving and tried to turn away from them and we ended up swerving and falling onto our right sides and getting dragged a bit along the road. It happened so fast. All of a sudden I was up and pulling the motorbike off of Tony's legs and moving it to the side of the road to examine the damage. And by the time I got over there the Indian couple and their mass of cows had vanished. I like to say that if Tony was a woman and had to cover up as much as I did that it wouldn't have been so bad for him. Because my long sleeved shirt and pants saved me a lot of skin. But I also lost a lot. So there we were shocked and on the side of the road halfway to Auroville. Tony was bleeding everywhere. His left hand had a missing chunk like someone had taken a melon baller to his skin. His left knee looked like a jawbreaker cut in half and was white with how much skin was missing. His shirt was ripped and his shoulder scratched but not too badly. His right forearm and right shin and foot were all tore up and everything was bright red. I took out a baby wipe from my purse and just stared at him wondering where to apply pressure. I headed to his knee and tried to dab some blood and his hand was horrific and I had no idea where to begin. We were both in shock. I didn't even cry, I was so relieved that we both hadn't hit our heads or broken anything and had lived that these wounds seemed like nothing to me at the time.
Luckily a few people from Sadhana were going to the seitan workshop and Jess and Tom drove past and saw us standing there shocked and covered in blood and pulled a u-turn. The scooter was fine and after Tony gathered himself enough to get back on a motorbike they whisked us up and drove us back to Sadhana. Again a Beach reference. We stumble into the camp covered in blood and tore the fuck up man. Its friday so everyone is hanging around enjoying themselves. Until we show up totally recked. Yorit knows a deal about homeopathy and pretty soon we had Raja and Yorit and Louisa and Daniel cleaning us up. It was when we got back to Sadhana that I finally saw my injuries. Yes my pants had largely saved my legs. I only skinned my knee a bit but the pants bore the brunt of it, and my havannas even saved my feet a bit of skin as well. But the shirt I was wearing was very thin and practically buckled from the dragging. Holes in the shoulder and elbow led me to believe earlier that there was some damage there. When I removed it there was a layer of my own skin from my shoulder attached to the shirt. My shoulder, elbow/forearm and top of my wrist were completely scraped of skin, it was pure white. But I was still in shock and not even in that much pain. Tony was screaming as they poured turmeric on his open wounds and tried to clean them. And yeah, the turmeric on a fresh wound. Not a walk in the park. And they bandaged us up and I was still feeling alright. A lot of pain from the cleaning and the turmeric but I was feeling alert and pretty much alright.
It wasn't until later when I was laying on my bed covered in my mosquito net staring at the ceiling that my mortality hit me. I just lay there crying for a good long while. I can't believe I didn't die. I can't believe I almost did die. I could've hit my head and ended up in a coma. I could have never seen Sean's or my family's faces ever again. I freaked out. I spent the rest of the night in a daze just zombie like wandering through the main hut. Dinner was had and Gilly cleaned and re-dressed our wounds. And poured this purple iodine on our wounds that I'm starting to get a little bit worried about. Like eh, this purple shit was poured onto my tenth under layer of skin and if other skin grows over I'm going to have warshak blot test tattoos all over my forearm and wrist. So hopefully this shit fades.
Saturday we decided to go to the hospital and have them clean and dress the wounds and then get a guesthouse for a while to prevent infection, and be in a sterile environment away from the Sadhana dirt and the staph infection that's been going around there. After breakfast we headed to the Auroville health clinic and had the flesh ripped off my arm as the bandages were removed. Then a torture session with a heavy handed Indian nurse who scrubbed and scraped and patted and cleaned and finally bandaged up my poor wounds. And I will say this. It was painful. It was like find a happy place make sure to breathe wish so bad you could be on drugs pain. I haven't felt pain like this in a good long while, in fact I'm not sure I ever have. My pain tolerance is unparalleled at this point. And after the torture session we went to Pondicherry.
The original idea was to stay at this ashram in Pondi but it was full so we ended up at Ganga guesthouse. Which was nice, pretty clean and had a good rooftop area to chill. But it was right on the street in Pondi, hella hot at night and just not what we needed to heal. So after an afternoon of relaxing and trying to not be in pain and a bad idea of going out to dinner, we decided to head back to Auroville.
Ahhh. That's what i felt upon arriving in Gaia's Garden guesthouse. Large bright white buildings flanked by towering green trees and palms and glorious red and purple flowers, birds chirping lily ponds little moats circling all the buildings, statues of Ganesh reclining amongst the flowers. Juli Squared (Juli and Julia) decided to stay with us as well and for less than 10$ us a night per person this oasis was ours. Complete with private bathroom, airy windows and a private terrace. We also got our laundry done and used the kitchen to make some mac n cheese mom sent me. And this is where I've been for the past four days. The first day I relaxed on the terrace because I was still wearing my bandages but yesterday and today I left them open so I've been keepin indoors. We have had so many visitors. I feel so much love coming from Sadhana every day, its magical.
Wilson came to visit us in Pondi the first day we were there. Then Jess and Jeff came to visit us along with Sheila the first day at Gaias. Then a surprise visit from Stacy, Raja, Josh, Tobin, and Sheila that night. And always with delicious treats and things. We had lunch from Sadhana delivered by Stacy and Daniel, pizza/movie night with a big ol posse, Nicolas and Aram stopped by to say goodbye cause they're leaving as well as Seb and all the others headed to the rainbow gathering up north. It is so great to see friendly faces when you are confined to a room(a beautiful, peaceful room. but still). I've really relished the wind moving through the room throughout the day, and frequent naps, and lots of water, and I've been reading and relaxing in this beautiful atmosphere.
There have been a few moments of incredible pain. Removing gauze that has grafted to my wounds, cleaning out with surgical solution and iodine to prevent infection. Even water burned like the sun for the first few days. But I might be over the pain marker at this point, and I can see some scabs forming, and I look forward to going back to Sadhana and seeing my friends. Although sadly many will have gone by the time I return, but this loss is all a part of living. Which, thankfully I am.
I've been in a lot of pain, but I've learned to breathe through it and send it somewhere positive. I know I will heal, and I will learn from this experience. I value my life immensely. I love Sean with everything I am and want to spend many many years alive together. I love my family and my friends and do not want to go on without them. I am so grateful for my health and for my rapidly healing body and I cannot wait until I am strong again.
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