OM (my) God

Two weeks of ashram life. Not what I initally expected, but exactly what I needed and a great finale to India. The first week was a noisy, chaotic block party with pilgrims and flowers and singing and dancing and hooting and hollerin'. The second week has been like an Indian version of Sex and the City. I've tried to think of the equivalent phrase this is what I've got...Poop and the Delhi, Yoga and the Ganges, Chai and the Ashram, etc, to describe my ever expanding crew of ladies that meet up to discuss those things; poo, chai, and yoga. Fot the whole first week it was me and this british couple Laney and Steve and that was it for the westerners. But after the holy week and the birthday passed the ashram rooms opened up and the whiteys flowed into the Ganga Block. aka my hood.
So my girls...
We've got Sarah from Minnesota- a young, hilarious girl on a month long "holiday" I use the term loosely cause she hasn't had the easiest time in India. Sarah is doing her masters in holistic health and is staying at the ashram but taking private one on one yoga classes and lecture at the yoga and health center connected to the ashram. Katarina- who hails from Austria and is tall and bright and also takes pictures of her food- just like me. Helen from England who is like Lindsay Lohan's british twin in The Parent Trap- about twenty years old and about ten times cuter(if thats even possible)With red hair in pigtails and raidiant blue eyes. As you might guess this girl gets hassled like no other in India. Did I mention she's only TWENTY? yeah. Maureen- a lovely,insightful, enlightened(and she really is dude) woman from New Zealand on her second?(at least) trip to India. Maureen's friend Lynn-Marie who is a bundle of energy and reminds me of my crazy P.E. teacher in middle school who had braces and was really into working out. Liza and Sarah- a pair of twenty year old German girls who are doing the same trip as me practicaly except they went to Central America instead of Argentina. Liza speaks English with an American accent due to a year in North Carolina?(of all places- she said the agency just puts you somewhere in America. At least it wasn't Reno... haha) when she was sixteen. Both girls are insanely mature and I can't belive she just turned twenty like three days ago. When I was twenty I still got lost on the bus in Seattle. No freaking way would I be in India. Hmmm also two girls from Toronto who I haven't even asked their names yet but are totally awesome- we bonded over chai and banana chocolate samosas- also our shared love of mangoes. Unfortunately they got a whole kilo stolen by a pack of monkeys the day I met them. ooh the monkeys. Emma, from the UK who Sarah met in Delhi and who is doing this insane world trip- in the end it'll be 18 countries in one year. Kinda the same as mine but more south america, more southeast asia and after India she's going to Jordan and Egypt? We laughed about crazy Argentineans and trains in India and how much crap you accumulate while traveling. Whew. I think thats everyone. For now at least.
So almost every night we meet at our version of the coffee shop. The Green Hotel restaurant behind the ashram that is eh, okay food but theres a.c. and masala chai and a waiter that speaks spanish to me cause he thinks I'm from Mexico? I've officially become THAT fiesty. And we sit around not eating much to the chagrin of our waiter- mostly because our meals are included at the ashram. But occasionally we'll share a massive banana nutella pancake or rice pudding along with honey lemon mint tea and chai and lassis. All the horror stories come out, all the funny moments and the crazy shit that no one who hasn't been to India will ever understand. For instance- Helen was in yoga class- a one on one class taught by Sarah's teacher. And she was doing cobra pose. And the teacher gives you adjustments when needed. Here's the problem. So for a visual--- cobra pose is you laying on your stomach with your hands next to your shoulders and chest and head pulled up- and the yoga teacher (a male) is in front of Helen, bends over her body to adjust her legs. Meanwhile his penis keeps accidentaly slapping Helen in the face.
HAHAHAHA.
you just can't make stuff like this up.
Helen is this sweet British girl and what can you do in this situation? Excuse me- enough with the dick slaps? hmmm. So she just politely averts her head to avoid the swinging pendulum. hahaha i wept when i heard this.
So over the past week after a day of yoga and chanting I hang out with my girls and before you know it it's ten o'clock curfew to not get locked out of the ashram. It has been ridiculously fun.
Also. I got sick again.
It's totally my fault, I don't wash ALL the mangoes I eat, etc. And so two days ago I was woken up with insane- dysentery like craps and proceeded to vomit and diharrhea my guts out the entire night and all next day. But by the grace of something it only lasted 48 hours. I rested. I ate only curd and toast and the next day I was back to yoga and feeling great. I think it was just India's last hoorah with my digestive system. Well, intestinal parasites, you've had your fun now you can piss off.
One more class this afternoon and my two weeks of yoga and early mornings and vedic chanting will be at a close. I've enjoyed what it turned out to be. Not a serene ashram experiece, but a fun filled whirlwind adventure and a total gab sesh. Hey- some things just turn out this way- why fight it?