September

It truly is crazy how quickly one can jump from continent to continent, time zone after time zone, life and experience all falling away at each turn. I feel as if Kenya was all a dream. I just woke up. I'm in America. I'm at home in my apartment. In the bathroom trying not to wake up my BFFs who are sleeping all around this joint. Just using MY LAPTOP AND IPHONE (at the same damn time). Yesterday I awoke and was in the Amsterdam airport, the day before that I woke up in Maai Maihu. Time really did sink into itself on the way home and I'm still not so sure how or when that's going to right itself. It's 5am here, 3 in the afternoon in Kenya, and I basically gave up trying to sleep anymore, fuck it. I was Castaway-ing out earlier, laying there in the darkness thinking about how insane it is to be home, and flashing my headlamp on a faded picture of Helen Hunt. haha but seriously, It's astounding how much I have and how little I really need in my life to get by, and how all of the things I have at home seem so luxurious and decadent. Like a fridge full of hot sauce and cold beer and string cheese, all at my disposal. Obviously my first shower at home was THA BIZNESS. After that long eh 40 hours of travel I feel like I needed a team of experts to detangle my hair, a la the makeover scene in Ms. Congeniality. My hair is so soft right now it probably does rival Sandra Bullocks. Other stuff just like drinking tap water, wearing a tank top and shorts, feeling free to do anything. I could right now in the middle of the night, get in my car and drive somewhere. At home I have so much freedom and independence that just seemed so normal before but that now really makes me appreciate how lucky I am to have come from here. If that seemed really patriotic, that's because it was shitheads.



I feel so conflicted and so insanely lucky about my life. This month has brought so much joy into my life and taught me so much about myself. Oh September. I feel so sad to have to part with some of the most amazing people I've ever met, with people I feel are my family. There is always a big void to fill shaped like each of those people who touched my life. Corny shit I know, but I feels it, for real. At first a month seemed like a long time to spend every waking moment with these people, complete strangers to me at first. I find it truly interesting how quickly people adapt to their surroundings and gravitate towards those with who they truly connect. The experience I had in Kenya would have been something completely different had each and every one of those people been a part of it. I truly would have had a horrible time without you. And now all I wanna do is play some cards, drink some tea (okay let's get real, Bond 7) and be around them. Wake up and eat breakfast with everyone, watch Ryan accidentally fill his whole cup with hot milk instead of hot water for his tea and pile up some insane Wedding Crashers style breakfast plate. I want to watch Marsha eat something tan colored. I want to communicate with Oakley about something funny with just a look. I want to listen to Citizen Soul Father talk about the office of the President (are you listening to me?). I wanna put bomb sauce on something. I want to do painting projects with Chris, watch the boys play soccer, lay in a hammock and hear about everyone's lives. I miss them, they made that trip what it was, and what it was, was incredible.

On our last couple of days in Kenya there was actually some much needed free and reflection time and I sucked it up. The day after our big opening a few of us walked over nice and early to hang out at the Cafe during the day. I was nice and hungover from the birthday celebration the night before( more on that later) and the walk was a nice way to get some fresh air, exercise, and back sweat going on. Katy and Rocky and I walked that walk one last time; out the Transit and across the street, through the field, around the neighborhoods, past the donkey water haulers, over wash your clothes river, up HOW ARE YOU? hill, around the school, down the quarry, through the cornfield, past the fence, into the cafe. It was a refreshing and peaceful moment to approach that Cafe after all had been said and done. It was a living thing now, no longer a project or a job, it was now a space to be enjoyed, to relax around, to drink coffee at- it was real. Cafe Ubuntu. I am because we are. (we call it that for a reason, are you listening to me?) haha. I had a morning and an afternoon there. I had a cup of tea in a Cafe Ubuntu ceramic cup, I lay down on the terrace and chilled. All day long. Left for lunch, came back- same spot. I stared at the clouds all day. I made warthogs and monkeys and faces out of them. I listened to Lana del Rey and the men working on the library, I listened to the boys playing soccer and the rest playing cards, I listened to Lisa finishing up her training on the newbies, I listened to espresso being made. And I felt content. All of us were there in perfect harmony, each person doing what they wished in their last Kenyan hours. I felt happy to be in the space with everyone and not even need to interact, just to be close by and in their presence. I felt like we did something there, we touched that land and built things. We made lasting pathways and dirt mounds, we helped create jobs and hire new baristas, we fixed roads (well not me, per say, but the royal 'we' did) we painted signs and borders and menus, we contributed a small bit to that place's greatness. And it felt fucking perfect. It felt completed, and I felt ready. Then I got to play a little soccer due to two injuries: Devon fell into an enormous hole that was just hidden in the field and Hunter got a piece of rebar just straight through his shoe and out the other end. We all piled into the van one last time, drove down that country ass, potholed-out road, belted out some Celine Dion, and went home.


So onto my birthday. The big 2-8. First off, it was the longest birthday experienced because it jumped time zones and continents. Kenya, Amsterdam, Reno.

I was so lucky to get to see so many people I love for my birthday and experience both American and Kenyan birthday traditions. So for those of you who weren't aware, yesterday was my 28th birthday. I turned twenty-eight on September 28th. Golden Birthday. Buut in Maai Maihu we celebrated on the 25th. I like to maximize my celebratory time and turn it into a week of festivities, kind of like an Indian Wedding. We were mostly celebrating the launch of the cafe- the success of the celebration, the ability to shell out enough goat meat for everyone, etc. A big Kenyan birthday tradition is to douse the birthday person in water, as we found out a few weeks ago when it was Emily's birthday. So I kind of new it was coming, but I fell for it anyways- why you ask? Cause I'm an asshole. Oh well. So other Emily lured me out back under some shady false pretense of a serious talk. I believe I even looked back at the peeps eating and said welp, imma bout to get soaked. But she was quite convincing, luring me out for the slaughter. I didn't see the water at first, just all the Germans recording me with their iphones. BAM!!!!! Both sides just fucking worked me, enormous laundry buckets of water just all. over. me. haha great tradition. I did feel a little pleasure out of the fact that Hunter also was completely soaked from throwing it all over me- cause we all know how much misery loves company. Then I go back inside only to get more soaked- just water bottle after water bottle of water getting poured on my head and Rocky trying to shove cake all over my face. Super fun. Oh then Patrick iced me. Needless to say I was hurting the next day, but whatevz YOLO.


We left Kenya on September 27th and went out with a bang if I do say so myself. Shout out to my main steeziez, Citizen Soul Power Big Father Daddy Kevin and O A K LAAAAAYYYYY for hooking me up that day. They were both staying in Kenya a bit longer and got a room at Tribe. Tribe is fucking CUUUUUUSSSSSH. Supa Dupa nice, supa dupa pricey, but a really amazing treat. This place had mad hook ups- glass elevators, wifi off the heezey, classy wazungos everywhere, they even sold lifeline products in their gift shop which was rad. Anyways so they also have a badass pool outside which I immediately was all about. Just Brokedown Palacing that shit. Except no one really seemed to care that I wasn't staying at the hotel, I just blended in with all the other MUZUNGOS populatin' that place. Swam a bit, chilled with Marsha and Oak poolside, drank a mojito, pretty PRETTY GOOD. We all had one last family dinner- just more cocktails, why not right? and said our goodbyes to Rubie, Rocky, and Jeremiah. Goodbyes are tricky because if not done right they just keep making you feel worse and worse. I've met so many amazing people in my life and some I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by everyday, but a lot no. And it is easy to stay in touch in this modern age, so that does cushion the blow a little bit. But I've learned that you just have to make it quick, tell them you love them, and bounce. Some people are meant to come into your life and change it, teach you things about yourself, help you grow. The people I was surrounded by this past month were those people. I was lucky enough to get a whole month. Some of them I will see again, some probably not, but the beauty of life is in the unknown. And even if I never get to go back to Kenya, or never see some of them again, I know that we touched each other's lives and I know that I am a better human because of them. God, who am I Marsha? Sap fest 2013 over here. haha, jk Marsh. We get to the airport after mad traffic and had to get a bunch of weird inspections, bag weighs, document checks,etc. The woman inspecting my passport was kinda looking at me weird and smiling creepily. Then she just looks up grinning, HAEPPY BARTHDAY she says, haha. Good stuff.

So speaking of people I love, nowz the time for the shout outs for all my rad people back home. Also shout out to Ken and Chris for the birthday Qdoba and Massage at the airports- that was amazeballs. My gorgeous mum picked me up from the airport just looking fly as always and whisked me to my home sweet home. My apartment of course looked even more awesome than I remembered it and smelled FUCKING GREAT. Nick has just been all up in here fixing and building shit and changing all the weird things I had going on that have bugged him the whole time I've lived here. Nickybooboo built laundry shelves, a bike rack, secured max privacy settings on the windows and my railing, organized my silverware and closet, added artwork, and painted me a new outside table. It's amazing, I love everything and I am always astounded at the shit he makes. He's perfect. I missed him so. Nick and BritJobin hemaglobin and Misty came right over after work and showered me with gifts, fed me queso, and iced me with a 32. This is why I do it. Ryan and Michael were glad I'm home. Sort of. Except I'm pretty sure they wish Nick was their forever neighbor- sorry bitches, the wench is home! Turns out two more of our friends are moving into the building and I am so excited to be living where I'm living. We sat outside and stared at all the Reno weirdos, drank some, drank more, tried anything to keep me awake. I'd been up for something like 40-ish hours at that point. We went out to Chapel but I was just in blackout exhausted mode and missed seeing a few more peeps. Luckily my MAIN STEEZ Whitni didn't schedule me until Wednesday so there's time to hang out with some family and friends before I have to go back to work and deal with two thousand emails. I really missed my friends, in a way I didn't really have on my last trip. When I returned from my big year of travel some friends were still in Reno but most everyone was spread out all over the west coast, or heading somewhere else very soon. But this time I knew what I was coming back to, I knew that my bff gang crew would be here and I love them so much I can't even put it into works. Megalopolis Love, to quote Kevin. I've never felt so loved and never had such a good birthday and I can say that seriously and without exaggeration. I've had some shitty fucking birthdays and September has always been a month of great change my whole life. Summer is ending, fall beginning, school starting, trips starting and ending, relationships ending, people leaving, people dying- always September. Time flies, it really does. I'm so lucky to have been given this opportunity to slow my modern life down a bit and live a month in Kenya. I now know some things in my life I need to stop fighting and start embracing. I'm never going to be done traveling, it will never get out of my system. It's time I started trying to make my life work in cooperation with this instead of around it. I'm not sure what or how I will do it, but I need to start making moves, changes, embracing opportunity and taking risks. That's where the magic happens right? Outside the ol' comfort zone. I'll also try to keep writing, I really do love it and need to continue with this in my life. Even if no one is reading it, I think it's something I will work on keeping in my life.

The sun is finally up. I'm gonna pounce on my bestest friends who are cuddled up in my bed right now. It's good to be home.

Sweet ass (expensive ass) Water

Welp everyone, the time here is coming to a close. And it makes me really fucking sad. And I’m gonna get a little sappy here for a minute so suck it up. This week there was a shooting at a mall in Nairobi. A mall that was frequented by Kenyans and muzungos and people from all over the world. And it has really been affecting everyone here. There are different levels of issues emerging from this tragedy. Fear, sadness, anger, relief, etc. I feel a little freaked out but not insane or anything. Mostly I am having a crisis of self of what if that was the mall we were in that day. Because we were in one, the Village Market Mall in Nairobi, a super cush mall that is embassy adjacent. I happened to be bowing down to the porcelain goddess and paying for my sins the following night. And it would really have been a bummer for my last act on earth to be puking in a mall bathroom. The point of this whole bit is, life is short, crazy shit happens, you have to live your life as you want it. If you are in a job that sucks, find another one, if you are in a relationship with a loser, break up with them, if you aren’t doing what you’ve always wanted to do with your life- do it because our time on earth is not infinite. Everyone dies, usually before they expect to, and I for one would like to go down with as little regret as possible. Also, horrible acts of terrorism happen everywhere- they happen in Kenya, they happen in America. This mall shooting happened in Nairobi. Last year some American walked into an IHOP in Carson City and shot up a bunch of people. Crazies are everywhere and I know personally I will continue to travel and continue to live my life to the full extent that I can because if they were to affect my decision in any way, make me afraid of travel then their whole plan of instilling fear works. And I say fuck that. Rant over.

Let’s talk about this awesome last week. So after I puked and rallied, we drove for another few hours through some bumpy ass roads that gave what they all call here a right ‘Kenyan Massage’. We FINALLY arrive at Sweetwaters and it’s exactly that, SWEET ASS WATER. Its supa dupa deluxe, fucking whiteys everywhere and these gorgeous grounds with luscious plants and flowers everywhere, acacia trees, birds squawking, the works. Out front is a watering hole where RHINOS come and drink water at night. Rhinos are basically alive dinosaurs. They are cray CRAY. Rhinos apparently also have some magic in their horns which makes them super attractive for poachers. So the game preserve has these bad ass mofos that are decked out all in camo and strapped with machine guns to patrol the land 24/7. Apparently crushed up rhino horn is super good for curing the worldwide health catastrophe: male erectile dysfunction. And apparently it’s most popular in China and other Asian countries for old dudes. Hey old dudes- maybe get some exercise and stop drinking so heavily and your penis will work, no need to butcher a FUCKING RHINO for your Viagra. Anyways, that’s lame. It was truly amazing though, this tent camp was basically high up bungalows with crisp white sheets, fluffy down comforters and instant hot water. Don’t even get me started on the food there. Trough after trough of deliciousness- chapatti for days, fresh salad bar, cray cray patatas. The coffee comes in a French press and is bottomless and FREE. The water is 270 shillings a bottle which is fucking steep. The dessert bar is straight out of Jurassic Park. In fact the whole shebang was straight out of Jurassic Park. Electric fences everywhere, high grass, highly intelligent wildlife.

The highlight of the safaris was an evening drive on our last day there. To preface this, we arrived in afternoon and went out two evenings and two mornings. This is the best time to see all the wildlife cause they are all out eating and drinking a pooping. So our last night we are all kinda tired and thinking maybe we’d just like to chill out on our SICK ASS verandas and have a cold beer and enjoy each other’s company. But we all rallied and reluctantly set out on our drive. And right off the bat we spot a fucking CHEETAH. This beasty is so majestic and full of strength and curves, and allz I can say is, this bitch definitely gets her running on. So we’re all checking her out and freaking out actually at how badass she is, laying there in the golden grass, perfectly blending in and staring intently into the brush hoping to make a kill. Then we see them. TWO BABY CHEETAHS. Cheetah cubs !!!!!! They are jumping all over and hopping and running and of course I’m squealing uncontrollably because I can’t help myself. They are having a great afternoon following mom around and traipsing through the grass. Then the queen bitch walks RIGHT UP next to our van and again I’m totally freaking out about the whole thing. She’s amazing, calm and collected and terrifying. The babies are fluffy and tiny and prancing! It was insane and I can’t believe we almost skipped it. Amazing.

And today we opened Café Ubuntu. It was such a grand spectacle and celebration. I can’t believe we pulled it off. We were literally working up until the last minute- me and Chris anyways, finishing up chalkboards and filling prices, etc. We had people from CTC, our Whole Foods gang, tons of local business people, Malaika moms and kids, Maasai women, and so many more. There was a bunch of speeches, there was a traditional Maasai dance and then Jeremiah cut the ribbon and Lisa broke the challah (HOLLER!). And then the shit hit the fan. Everybody is bum rushing the café wanting all kinds of drinks. Dormans who is their coffee supplier also had a coffee truck that had a line all the way down the walkway, and the three baristas have been trained like THIS week and are getting fucking slammed. But they all killed it and we are handing out baked goods to a million hands everyone saying shit to me in Swahili that I don’t really understand but which I translate in my head to “Hey white girl, I don’t want that fucking cookie, I want the doughnut that Ruby is giving out.” We are slicing up piles and piles of chapattis with a tiny wine knife meant to cut the foil off the top, and Kevin’s $7 Ace Hardware knife. Then the power goes out. This is Kenya. T.I.K. as they say. The rest of the day basically went like that. Just trying to make coffee as fast as these brand new baristas possibly can, handing out food and goat meat to anyone and everyone that sticks their hands in their face. And then tearing it all down as quickly as it was built. D.J. Rubie Ruth aka D.J. R squared is pumping the reggae and then everyone starts boogying down, including a bunch of the Malaika kids who are taking turns shouting out on the mic. It was really awesome and I feel so stoked to be lucky enough to have landed this group at this time. Amazing shit. Truly. So in two days I say goodbye to this place and I’m starting to bum out about it. But that is life. Life is life, what can do? We’re having a pizza night blow out to celebrate the opening and then get a few more days to hang with these amazing people in this insanely cool place. I’ll try not to cling to it, appreciate the moment, and fucking YOLO.

Cafe Ubuntu and my Kenya family

The time in Kenya has been flying by and we only have one more week here! It makes me very sad to be leaving especially since we are all bonding and forming such a close knit little family. That being said I thought it might be time to do a little profile on all of the people here, okay MARSHA? So our Whole Foods group is eleven peeps, all from North America, everyone except one from the states.
1. Me. Duh.
2. Lisa, our Team Leader and a Store Team Leader from Toronto, Canada. Lisa is a tiny little spitfire with curly blonde hair and mad interviewing skills. Lisa asks all the good questions when we are all meeting people and doing site visits so that everyone gets all the good deets. She is also a master at many things including baking and baked the most amazing pizza and brownies for everyone last week. She is also a great communicator and helps everyone by facilitating conversations that we might not otherwise have.

3. Katy, trainer and education manager at Allegro Coffee which is owned by Whole Foods. Katy is from Denver, Colorado. Katy is extremely patient and kind and takes the most insanely awesome photos. She is a mother of two tween-age girls and so naturally all the children here flock to her when we are about town. She is facilitating all the coffee aspects of the opening of the café, along with being a general badass mambo jambo. Katy made everybody the most bomb ass lattes and mochas today when we finally got the espresso machine going. She is full of knowledge and so good at sharing it. Katy rules.

4. Ken, gro-body Associate Team Leader who lives in Basalt, Colorado. Ken is one of five Coloradoans dominating the scene here. Ken brings the mountain man aspect to the team and was one of the first one up our crazy ass Mount Longonot hike (to be discussed later). Sings a lot. Used to have dreadlocks down to his ankles that he told me after he showered he put a towel on his hair and lay on the ground and had his lady walk on them to dry them. That shit cray.

5. Ryan (or Lion, as the Kenyan’s pronounce it) is a grocery Associate Team Leader from Little Rock, Arkansas. He is a tall drink o water and is fucking hilarious. We were recently at a mall in Nairobi and he just shouted HAGRID!!! At this beasty mo fo that looked just like the Harry Potter star. Ryan also introduced the card game palace to our crew which we play almost each and every night. Ryan also is ON POINT with pop culture references and we could go back and forth reciting Forest Gump all day long. Lieutenant Dan ICE CREAM. Also invented ‘your dad week’.

6. Tyler, is a specialty coffee and tea buyer from Bend, Oregon. He immediately fell in love with Kenya and Maai Maihu and CTC and may or may not move back here to work because he loves it so much. He also gets the man of the year award for carrying nineteen liters of water up on our hike so that everyone else could be free of carrying stuff. He also brought some soccer balls that the kids here freak out over.

7. Chris is a Whole Body Associate Coordinator from Denver, Colorado. Chris is my main bitch for sure. She is calm and collected and is always hooking me up with the necessities, like human contact and chocolate cookies. She is also a fellow artist and has been painting some of the coolest, most badass stuff in Café Ubuntu. She is also a fellow traveler who can revel with me about all the similarities between here and India which are many.

8. Kevin is a Grocery Dairy Buyer from Atlanta, Georgia. Kevin is a tall dude ass that is constantly wandering around Kenya getting stared at for being such a large muzungu. I also one day told a group of kids that I didn’t have any candy but that Kevin did and that his name was ‘ Big Daddy’. Which prompted this tiny group of scoundrels to hover around him shouting ‘Big Daddy! Give me a sweet!’ hilarious. I also thought that Kevin’s Kenyan girlfriend was cat fishing him until by bluff was called and she showed up one day to be hella fine and hella real. Kevin is hilarious and his external/internal dialogue are on point and make everything fun. Citizen SOUL POWER.

9. Marshaaaaaaa is an Associate Store Team Leader from Sonoma, California. Marsha is also super fucking hilarious. Catch phrase: “ Shut the fuck up!”. The best thing that happened to Marsha is that she got accidentaly ICED one day when borrowing my laundry bucket. Oakley had stashed a can of Smirnoff black ice in there and we broke Marsha’s ice cherry then and there. Then we had to sit through a meeting. Whoops. Oh also last night she was eating plain rice for dinner sandwiched between two salt and vinegar Pringles. Priceless. Oh and she makes a BOMB ASS guacamole.

10. Devon is a Prepared Foods Store Trainer from Boulder, Colorado. Devon is also a bomb cook and was a main assist on our beloved pizza night. Devon is organized and pragmatic which helps us all get in line when we are trying to figure out projects. Oh and is a dance machine, getting down to ipods, car jams, etc. Any and all of the time. I also iced Devon tonight at dinner IN the potato salad. It was awesome.

11. Oakely. OAK-A-LEY. Is a store buyer from Boulder, Colorado as well. Oakley is my boy but gets really annoyed at me constantly shouting his name. Along with his icing antics, Oakley also likes to hand out sweets with me to all the cute ass school kids when they walk past. Oakley is going to do some sick traveling after Kenya around Europe then go home for a hot minute and the next day drive and move to San Diego. Cray. Anyways, OAK-A-LEY is rad. Oh he also ices himself on purpose all the time because he, get this, LIKEs it. So naturally the fun isn’t there to ice him, so I might have to get some gross mango wine and hide it in his backpack. He also got worked the first night we hung out with CTC. Emily claimed that this drink was for girls and was also a ‘panty remover’. hahaha. So much icing on this trip.

We also have some rad peeps that work at CTC that we all get to hang out with on the reg. Ruby Ruth- is another total badass chick that I LOVE. TO. DEATH. She has been instrumental in my Swahili swag and is always around helping our gang get from place to place and hooking us up with internet and making sure that everyone is having what they need AND a good time. She’s amazing and is also always wandering around in the rubble of Kenya in high heel boot and wedges. The other day she was hauling wheelbarrows of rocks in a halter top and flats. She works it.
Tony- Is without a doubt the happiest human I have ever met. Every day we see him he’s more GQ’ed than the day before. He’s also helping me not fuck up my Swahili too bad. He is such a badass that one day we were walking back to the Transit(home) from work(Café ubuntu) and Ryan left his phone there. We were already about halfway home. Tony simply said. This I will do. Then he told Kevin. “Kevin, you will lead the team safely back to the hotel until I return”. And set off running. Not only did he get the phone but he lapped us on the way home and ended up ahead.
Rocky- Is a total baller, total boss. He is always there to help us get down with some local flavor be that Nyama Choma(Roast Meat), pick up soccer games, etc. He is a good critique of my work and said that the painting I did of the Masai man wasn’t buff enough and that the woman was prettier. Well duh I said. Women naturally have a much curvier shape. Plus all the dudes I’ve seen in Kenya have bee pretty svelte motha fuckers. Rocky was a king or drug king pin or famous movie star in another life. He’s just that baller.
Jeremiah- Runs the show here in Maai Maihu and is the co-founder of CTC. Is super hilarious and a total baller. He basically is making deals and dollas all day long. He is also a maniac driver and likes to narrate along as he goes. Loves to drink mochas as well which works as an ulterior motive to opening the café.

This week we have also been doing some really cool work in the café. Café Ubuntu. Ubuntu means “ I am because we are” in Zulu I think? Or some other language, but something South African. I feel bad admitting it, but the work I’ve been doing is super duper kush. I’ve been painting la la la la la. First we did a nice little border around the walls, then some editing on the logo, and my favorite is I got to paint the signs for men’s and women’s bathroom. Which was really fun and a nice little creative outlet. Meanwhile most of the team is outside shoveling gravel, hauling rocks, building mounds of dirt and working their asses off. Welp, I guess the moral of the story is, be an artist and you don’t have to do manual labor. Also, DAD, there I am using my college education. Haha.

Also we hiked Mount Longonot this weekend. Which we all thought was gonna be some pretty easy, pretty hard hike. It was fucking gnarly. Hella. So the whole gang went, except ol Kevin who needed a rest day, aka Catfish rendezvous. So the hike up was pretty easy for a bit then it starts getting really sandy, really steep and it is climbing and climbing and I am heaving and gasping like freaking James Gandolfini trying to finish a plate of chicken parmesan. (RIP). Anyways, so Longonot is a dormant volcano and I, along with others thought that it was going to be a hard hike up but then just a nice trek around the rim. NOT. It was chill for a bit then a few enormous climbs up. Oh also the outfit I have chosen for this trek is a pair of American apparel short shorts, leggings and my worn out tiger sneakers. Those babies are SLICK. Everyone else is hopping nimbly bimbly from tree to tree in their rugged outdoorsy shoes and shit, I’m literally sliding down the mountain on my greatest asset(pun intended). I slid down sandy slopes, covering everything in a dust. Pig pen style. By the time the mountain was completed, I looked somewhat like one of the boys from the Sandlot and Uma Thurman in Kill Bill after she escapes being buried alive. But it was awesome. Mt. Longonot- YOU MY BITCH!

Another interesting foray we had this week was into some Maasai land. We were going there to speak with some Maasai grandmothers who have adopted orphans whose parent’s died of HIV/AIDS. Well only one of the mothers were there so we had some other adventures. The best was right when we landed we’re mobbed by a tiny gang of tiny dudes. They are all super, super, super dirty. Their ringleader is of course the tiniest one and is carrying a fucking whip as an accessory. They are all about the ‘GIVE ME A SWEET’ chant. Nobody has any candy when it’s the right moment, so we have to make do. One of the little dudes straight flipped off Ken as his hello. Kevin ended up giving them a bunch of Dentyne Ice that he had in his bag and was trying to get them to share but the way they did this was to have a couple of them chew all the gum and then hand it off. Then they kept tugging on my shirt and looking up at me so sweetly, ‘Why you no give me chocolate?” Then they took us up to some insane livestock market where a bunch of dudes were standing around selling sheep and goats to each other. Aka a huge market where everyone could stare at us muzungus. Some dude kept trying to get me to buy a sheep of his, and when I denied he motioned that he’d be okay taking my sunglasses instead. Okay bro. We have one week left. Tomorrow we leave for a Safari that will be nearby Mount Kenya. We return Monday to help organize more stuff and open the Café on Wednesday. And then Friday I head home. And then Saturday I turn 28. Holy shit time flies. Anyways, tutaonana.

Karibu!!!

Week two of Kenya living has been pretty pretty awesome. Again this might seem like a jumbled mess of thoughts so let me pre apologize for all that. I've officially settled into our spot and decided to give everyone back home a little idea of what life is on the daily here. I usually wake up at around 6 or 7 am to either the sound of women chatting while they do laundry, or semi-trucks driving past. One morning it sounded like the gate near my door being smashed in by a battering ram. I crawl out of my mosquito net and usually do a little yoga in my little room.

Showering facilities are toilet shower style with a little ledge to prevent all your nasty water flowing straight into the bedroom. First, flip on the warm water switch, then listen outside and see if the ladies are still doing laundry. If they are, forget it and try again later, if not turn the water on a TINy bit and wait for the craaarfffhhhssshhh sound like thunder that indicates that the hot water is coming. Then rapidly scramble to wet all your hair and get some shampoo in before the water shuts off. After the water shuts off decide if you want to finish the shower with freezing cold water or stand there freezing and try to think the water back into warmness. The moral of the story is to shower in the evening when less people are using water. Food here is actually really good. So good that I again should mention I'm getting totally Kenya fat which is a first world problem if there ever is one. Three squares a day is a lot more than any of us eat and it is beginning to take it's toll. I believe I mentioned before that white bread is a big thing here, and so is tea. In the mornings we fill up tea from a thermos and then struggle to not break your wrist pouring out the gigantic blue jug of warm milk to make Kenyan milk tea, which is a lot like the chai you get in India. Very Very tasty.

We normally eat all of our meals at the Longonot Transit Hotel, my main steez. This is where we all live, sleep, drink, chat, etc. Everyone who works here is super rad, Dom, our local shop manager is always keeping us in fresh coke baridi(cold). Lunch and dinner vary but are usually similar- buffet style. Normally rice is at lunch and dinner, and always potatoes. Usually sliced, diced, etc. One night we all thought we were getting fried bananas in a nice red sauce? But they just turned out to be potatoes that were very long and potato looking? Then we have chopped up Kenyan kale, usually another Indian style dahl or veggie curry, and a few crazy looking meat dishes that I play the vegetarian card on and steer clear. There is also some bomb sauce that we call call red yellow because it's red sauce in a yellow mustard dispenser. It tastes like tapatio but we all know that cannot be, but eat it anyways cause its the bomb ass red yellow yall. The tv is always on here and it's always spanish soap operas dubbed in english? There is also a tiny TV in every single room we've stayed in this entire trip. With three channels, one news which is mostly religious propaganda and shit I don't understand, and the other two are different spanish soaps 24/7

We spent a lot of time in the car the last couple of days so let me give you a little insight into that. First off wherever we go kids literally come sprinting out of their houses or down the hill because they must see our bright white wazungu skin from miles away... Wazungu is the plural of muzungo which basically translates to whitey gringo stranger from far away land. Anyways the kids come pouring out of shantees and shop fronts and school yards shouting Muzungo! and How are YOUUUUUUU! and are extremely insanely world fucking stoppingly cute. I will for sure be putting off worries about having children one day because I know fo sho that I'm adopting a little Kenyan orphan someday and they will be the cutest kid on the block. Anyways, in the car, everyone is staring at us and the thing is a lot of people are just standing around by the road watching the cars driving past. Women and children wave, dudes stare, must like India. Roadside snacks and activities abound. The favorite kid activity is push the tire, kick the tire, or move the tire with a stick while running with a huge group of your friends. It's hilarious, and so cute and I find it equally adorable every single time I witness it. Snacks along the road are corn, corn, and roasted corn. Although on the street the other day we did see a ton of fish straight frying in the hot oil in the hot sun and then laid out in rows, if you wanted to get down on some fish-on-a-stick. Anyways, we partook in the roasted corn during a particularly long stretch, it. was. weird. You want some salt or butter or something but it's just plain and tastes cooked and raw all at once and is basically popcorn on a stick. You may also take your choice of buckets and buckets and buckets of neatly stacked potatoes that defy gravity and are at every roadside town. Bags of tomatoes, handfuls of carrots, oranges, you are offered it up at every speedbump and traffic jam. A raw potato doesn't really sound like a good road snack so I've resisted thus far. I did not resist however, some paprika flavored pringeles that are quite strange and I'm pretty sure cause anal leakage but fuck it, YOLO.

The road stretches on and on, especially when you are in the car for eight hours. Corn fields for as far as you can see, sugar cane, and little houses with children everywhere. Women are usually working hard in their front yards smashing up the jembe into the hot Kenyan ground while their husband is probably off in town standing around with his friends doing jack shit. The amount of children wandering around unsupervised is also unparalleled. Teeny tiny little ones that look barley big enough to be walking are strutting down the street with their gang playing and laughing like it aint no thing. One of the women I'm traveling with saw a group of kids throwing a dead crow at each other and laughing hysterically. Just another fun game to play. We also saw the Kenyan P.E. class going down as we were driving through a few towns. This consists of every kid from school running out to the street and running along the road as fast as they can. In full on school uniforms aka skirts, ties, sweaters, the works. And obviously it goes without saying they are magnificent runners because they're Kenyans and every kid is working this roadside run like it's the Olympic trials. Okay one more tidbit then I need to get off this blasted internet.

We're pimping out Cafe Ubuntu soooo much and it's going to be the badest ass cafe that Maai Maihu has ever seen. Painting and landscaping is what we've been up to and in two days we got that place facelifted like a makeover show on HGTV. One day after work I was chatting up a couple of the local gentleman about the work they had been doing all day. Just digging a fifty foot pit for everyone to poop in. They were in good spirits, obviously cause the work day was over and it was Tusker Time. Anyways, they were asking me about where I was from and what I did for work and how many children I had. I told them I didn't have any children and I wasn't married. Which is odd for an old maid such as myself at the ripe age of 27 going on 28. They asked me why I wasn't yet married, I thought for a hot minute and told them, well guys, I guess I just haven't met anyone I wanted to marry yet. They both then went into gut busting laughter at this comment. I guess it was utterly hysterical that I thought I could maybe or maybe not get married depending if I liked the guy or not. just laughing and laughing. haha. Okay, that's enough for now. Love to all at home.

Habari Gani

HABARI!!!!! Kenya so far has been insanely awesome and it's only been one week. It's a lot like India but without so much cows in the roads and no honking. The cars definitely drive a little cray but they just adjust to everyone around them and it's actually quite nice. Except for the constant diesel smell from all the cars idling fo days.

We are living in Maai Maihu which is a small town about an hour away from Nairobi. The best part of Kenya is the people, they are so incredibly nice and generous and strong. The little kids are so freaking cute I can't stand it. They come running out of the woodwork whenever we are in town shouting 'how are you?' and love to pose for pictures like teeny tiny models. And the school uniforms are totally money. Kenyan's love to have tea in the afternoon which is I guess a British influenced tradition. All the tea here is similar to Indian Chai and is sweet and extremely hot and served up in tin mugs akin to what we use for camping in the states. There is also a TON of white bread brought to every meeting with Kenyans. And you have to eat it because it's being offered up by super amazing women and it would be rude to turn it down. We were visiting one of the mom's from the CTC and there was literally a bucket of bread served up with our tea. So I go for it, and it's a butter sandwich. Two slices of white bread and a shit TON of butter smashed up in there. Anyways, needless to say I'm probably gonna come home hella fat from so much white bread tea time. But oh well.

The baby rabies is also off the chain here. I've seen regular human babies, baby bunnies, baby kittens, baby piglets, baby goats, baby giraffes, baby warthogs, baby zebras. I of course scream BABY or TINY at them. The Swahili is coming along quite nicely and it of course helps to have our handlers Rubie Ruth and Tony helping me out with my vocab. It's a really fun language and I hope I can learn as much as I can so I can use it in Reno with all the Kenyan's who live there... oh wait. So what we've been doing is back and forth of seeing really incredible tourist things and really realistic Kenyan life. Most of the real stuff happens in the village of Maai Maihu, where we are working with CTC International ctcinternational.org We've met so many incredible women that have struggled and overcome so much and they hardly break a sweat. It's so hard to sum everything we've seen in one week up in one post so bear with me.

We drove out one day to Brown's cheese plantation where this incredibly beautiful woman runs a charming cheese business out of her family's estate. Originally from England they've lived in Kenya for 100 years and her parents started making cheese because they couldn't get anything they wanted here. She basically is a total badass and took the operation over a few years ago. We ate an insane meal in the garden and sampled a bunch of cheese. Perfect for my freshman ten I'm gonna gain in Kenya. Then to counter that we visited the CTC headquarters and met an incredible woman who runs their community health program. She is one of the hardest working women I've ever met and she is so humble and ready to share basically her life story with us. We scoped out the Cafe Ubuntu where we will be finishing up painting and helping with the grand opening later on this month. That's where I got to hold a baby goat that was two weeks old, teeny tiny and was wearing a Masai bracelet as a necklace. Everyday we all cram into some version of a van and hightail it up suicide hill where all the trucks are whizzing up the blind corners on the left side of the road and swerving around. One day we saw a huge truck pulled over and one man was repairing it, and two other had just pulled mats and were sleeping underneath the semi waiting for him to finish it up. There was maybe one or two rocks holding the tires in place but not a lot of security that the truck wouldn't crush them to death.

We drove for a really long time out to the middle of nowhere and then some. We park near a house and walk over to the tree where all the women are sitting in the shade working on bracelets. They are wearing these incredibly beautiful bright textiles and tons of beaded jewelry in bright reds and yellows. As we approach they all began singing this traditional Masai welcoming song that was so cool and amazing that I had to fight off crying like a baby the entire time.

We home visited one of the Malaika moms who sews the canvas bags that we sell at Whole Foods. It was pretty insane. First off the welcomes that we receive pretty much everywhere we go are so genuine and heartfelt. We along with some other Kenyan women all cram into this woman's living room and she just pours out her life story. Her daughter that can now walk and go to school because of the money her mom receives from CTC work is insanely cute and told us when she grows up she wants to be a neuro surgeon. Alice, another woman who works at CTC had us go around and do an ice breaker which was us all going around saying our names and doing 'our style' which is basically any dance move you want. They we all had to repeat it and some of them were cracking all of us up. Mine was the robot. duh.

Yesterday we visited Hell's Gate National park and I rode a bike through the most beautiful canyon and say Zebras running around, warthogs hauling all, giraffes hiding in the trees, gazelles, and water buffalos. No big deal. Friday night we tied one on Kenyan style which is basically pounding Bond 7 ( the local whiskey), and Tusker, our beer of choice with all of our crew at the Transit hotel where we're staying and some CTC peeps, well to the best we could with music coming out of one sad lone speaker. I know this is a bit all over the place but it's really difficult to try and sum it all up. So sorry I'm not sorry. Kwa Heri! Tutaonana!

Kenya!

Welp Everyone.Jambo! I did it. After 30 something hours of travel I am up and wandering around a mall in Nairobi like it aint no thang. So much cool stuff happened so far and I've only been here for a few hours. Firstly, the flights were insane and really long and on both 8 hour flight someone passed out and needed to be revived by nurses on board. The Amsterdam airport is OFF THE CHAIN. For real. It is probably one of the coolest places I've ever been. First off the design there is totally money. There are a bunch of really cool lounges with brightly colored Dr. Seuss looking chairs and plexiscreens that look like fireplaces, there was a woman just killing it on the piano, did I mention there was a piano at the airport. There is also a fully loaded art museum, an airport library with a ton of really cool art and design books, a spa, a Whiskey museum, and tons of really really ridiculously good looking Europeans to stare at. I had four hours there and it was pretty incredible. There was also some really cool chairs all set up for napping in front of a huge screen that played images of the Holland countryside to relax you. Their medidation room is rad and when you go to put your shoes in the little cubbys, just look out for someone's rollerblades? That they have apparently been cruising around the airport in..... Hilarious.

So I arrive in Kenya. I left at 630 am in Reno on Saturday and arrive at 8:30 pm in Nairobi. There was an epic fire at the airport two weeks ago so the entire thing is now makeshift tents that they have sprung up to do visas, customs and baggage claim. And of course it's pouring rain. So we get shuttled down to the first tent, wait forever for a visa. Get the visa. Then wander into another tent where a bunch of people are just standing around and it keeps getting more and more crowded. Then finally they released us into the main tent where everyone's bags are laid out in long lines like dead bodies. The sturdy backpack made it, I scoop it up and wander out. There are a two people operating customs. You just walk up and hand them your declaration form which they barely glance at and put in an enormous pile. And you are in Kenya. I found the Whole Foods people right away as I exited, I didn't remember all the pictures of my fellow volunteers but they looked like and were my people so that was a lucky guess. We headed out into the night. The exit of the airport reminded me a lot of arriving in Mumbai, India. It's super dark out and there are like fifty people waving signs and none of them say CTC or Whole Foods. We hang out for a really long time and then realize that the sign for 'Gamewatchers WFP group #3' is our sign. Rubie Ruth from CTC meets us and she is an incredibly beautiful, bespectacled ray of sunshine. She scoops us up into the vans and we head to our hotel.

First off we drive through Nairobi and it's filled with roundabouts and crazy billboards that are enormous and hilarious. There are all these weird birds napping in trees. There are people walking around through the light rain, but it's so dark it's hard to really get a grasp on things. We get to our hotel which is SICK. It feels way too nice for how rundown I look and feel. There is a coy pond out back and tons of lush trees and plants everywhere. The wooden lobby is clean and colonial looking and a random cat is walking about. I'm in Africa. I'ts not even setting in yet. But I am. I sleep the greatest sleep I've had all month and wake up feeling amazing. I take a little walk around the hotel in the morning while guys are sweeping up leaves and patroling the grounds. The group meets up for breakfast and I eat some crazy fruit that is a mix between lychee and rambutan, some eggs and a butload of tea. Rubie from CTC gathers us and we head on the first leg of our voyage. We drove through Nairobi and it's incredible. It's very jungle-like and also like a town. There seems to be construction on everything and juxtaposes of giant fancy hotels shadowing tiny broken down hutches. There are people along side the road selling plants and making furniture out of wood. We are currently at a mall adjacent to the US Embassy to get some last minute incidentals, aka a bunch of postcards and then we're having lunch and heading out to Maai Maihu. I love it and I can't wait to see more. Love to all. Kwa Heri!

Going going to Africa

Well I haven't written in a while, and I don't really have much to say now except stay tuned. Saturday I leave for a month long excursion in Kenya and I'll write as much as I can.